‘Everybody Hates Blackie’
Season 3, Episode 4 - Aired October 22, 2007
After their house is robbed, Chris talks his parents into getting a guard dog. Meanwhile, Julius doesn't want to involve the insurance company.
Quote from Greg
Greg: But aren't you supposed to be teaching Blackie to attack intruders?
Chris: I'm working on it.
Greg: This book may help.
Chris: "Turn Your Pup into a Perp: Teaching Dogs to Kill." Perfect.
Quote from Mr. Omar
Chris: And this is Mr. Omar, my neighbor. And what is that?
Mr. Omar: Uh, these belong to some of my lady friends. I just want to make sure they're safe.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The only dog they have to worry about is you.
Quote from Julius
Tonya: They broke in again?!
Julius: Everybody get back! Let me go first in case they're still inside. Hey, give me something to use as a weapon. Hey, I got a gun!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Yeah, it just looks like a frying pan.
Quote from Drew
Rochelle: I cannot believe this!
Tonya: Wonder what they took this time.
Drew: Hey, at least they didn't take the TV Digest.
Quote from Rochelle
Rochelle: Is this about the robbery?
Police Officer: No, our emergency operators traced several prank phone calls back to this number.
Rochelle: Prank phone calls?
Police Officer: Yes. Calls to I.P. Freely, pizza orders and finally, a distress call that a woman was getting choked to death. That's not even funny. I don't get it.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] It's absurdist. You're not supposed to.
Rochelle: Chris, do you know anything about this?
Chris: No.
Rochelle: Drew?
Drew: What?
Rochelle: Tonya?
Tonya: Huh?
Rochelle: Do y'all know anything about this?
Drew & Tonya: About what?
Rochelle: "About what?" I'm sorry, officer. This won't happen again. Trust me. So y'all like getting choked, huh? Oh, you better run. You better run as fast as you can.