Adult Chris: [v.o.] Even though I didn't have a speech, I did have something to say.
Chris: When I decided to run for eighth grade class president, I was running for a lot of different reasons. What I never really asked myself was, did I really want to be class president? Well, I do. You know, I don't know what I can do as class president, but this is what I'm going to try to do. I'm going to try to get you lockers with combinations that work. I'm tired of coming in to my locker and seeing that everything I own is gone. I'm going to try to get you textbooks from this decade. I've got a textbook that says Dwight Eisenhower's president. Who is Dwight Eisenhower? I don't know. And what about that lunch room food? I had some Jell-O last week that was harder than the bowl. And what's with all the salami? Did someone vote for salami? Do we have any bologna? Ham? Can I get a slice of cheese? And if we have hot dogs on Tuesday, I don't want to have hot dog casserole Wednesday and Thursday and then franks and beans on Friday. [applause] Change it up! And do we have to say the Pledge of Allegiance every day? It's a pledge. We can say it once. What, they don't trust us or something? [applause] And how about we get field trips to places where people actually want to go? I'm not going to the botanical gardens one more time. How about Coney Island? Or Times Square? Let's go see the Knicks. Let's go see the Yankees. Heck, I'll even go see Cats. But if I go to the botanical gardens one more time, I'm gonna slap the sap out of somebody. Now I know it's been a long time coming, but as your eighth grade class president I promise you a change is gonna come. My name is Chris, and I'm running for your eighth grade class president.
Kids: [chant] Chris! Chris! Chris!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] It was great to hear a crowd say my name and not follow it with, "Let's get him."