Adult Chris: [v.o.] The week before finals was the most pressure-packed time of the year. Kids reacted to the pressure in lots of different ways. Some kids took it out on themselves. Some kids took it out on others. When I got stressed out, only one thing ever worked for me: cracking jokes.
Chris: I saw your mama standing outside the free clinic reading a bottle of aspirin. I asked her what she was doing. She says, "Studying for my drug test."
Greg: [laughs] That's good.
Thurman: Very good, very good, very good. Very funny. You got a way with words. Which would be a good thing if this was you-got-a-way-with-word-ology! But is this that?
Chris: No.
Thurman: You're right. Do you know William Henry Harrison?
Chris: Yeah, wasn't he that guy who cleaned up that woman in My Fair Lady?
Thurman: No, that was Rex Harrison.
Chris: Oh.
Thurman: William Henry Harrison was the ninth President of the United States, and he gave the longest inaugural address in history. And guess what?
Chris: What?
Thurman: Since you like to talk so much, you are gonna memorize that speech! But I have to study for finals. Not if you don't get that speech memorized-- because if you don't, you're gonna get suspended! And then you won't be here to take final exams! You got a mama joke for that?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] If I tell it, I'll get suspended right now.