Adult Chris: [v.o.] Back at school, I was more depressed than the Fat Boys at a finger sandwich party.
Chris: My dad's surprise party is Saturday night, and I don't know how I'm gonna do that and see the Fat Boys, too.
Greg: So, surprise him. Don't be there. Look, I did my part. I can't get you out of the house, too.
Chris: You got the IDs?
Greg: Is Janet Jackson in control?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Yes, but Michael isn't.
Chris: Let me guess, I'm Mr. T, and you're George Peppard?
Greg: Dude, they're free. What do you expect?