Chris: Ma, I can do it. I mean, I know how much you've been looking forward to this and I wouldn't want you to miss it because of us.
[fantasy:]
Host: And the award for "Best Kid Pretending Like He Gives A Damn About His Mother's Anniversary When He Wants Out Of The House So He Can Sneak Out And Do Something He Doesn't Have Any Business Doing" goes to... Chris! Chris, ladies and gentlemen.