Adult Chris: [v.o.] Over at Stacy's, I didn't know what was worse, having to confess what I had done or feeling like I was in the Bronx Zoo.
Stacy: So, what'd you want to talk to me about?
Chris: You got to give Doc another chance.
Stacy: Chris... Doc is a liar. And I know that you want to take up for him, but he doesn't deserve another chance. Ooh! He is like all the other men I've ever dated! He lied, they lied, because they're liars.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The story of the Bush Administration.
Chris: Doc's not like that.
Stacy: He is. Chris, don't grow up to be like that. No matter how much you think you may hurt a woman's feelings, you have to tell her the truth. She may hate you, she may burn down your house or pour bleach on your clothes, or attack your new girlfriend with ants or take every dime you make. She may scratch your car with a rake or use your home phone to call China long distance. Or she could put milk and detergent in your gas tank. Or put turpentine and nail polish remover and itching powder in your underwear. [2 hours later] She may glue your private parts to your leg. She may send an assassination threat to the president with your return address.