Mr. Abbott: Chris, what do you want to do when you get out of school?
Chris: I don't know.
Mr. Abbott: You know, you got about as much direction as a broken compass. I'm surprised you were even able to find your way to this office. According to this test, you put the "upid" in "stupid." The way I see it, you're about... two bad decisions away from a life of crime.
Chris: I don't know anything about crime.
Mr. Abbott: Make that one bad decision.
Chris: Can you help me?
Mr. Abbott: Well, unless they hire Big Bird, I'm going to have to.