Adult Chris: [v.o.] Before you ever buy a girl a gift, the first thing you've got to do is buy her the perfect card.
Greg: Nah, that's too much. You haven't even kissed her yet. Have you?
Chris: Um, how about this one? "You know the deal. I want you to be my valentine."
Greg: That's cool, but it's more for a friend than a girl. Whoa, cool. "Relatively speaking, would you be my valentine?" This is perfect.
Chris: For Tangee? No thanks.
Greg: No, for Joy.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Greg never fought being a nerd. I always wondered how that worked out for him.
[fantasy: an older Greg is waiting in a sports car]
Thirty-year-old Greg: [honks horn] Come on, honey!
Sexy Woman: Greg, when did you get this car?
Thirty-year-old Greg: Well, the Bentley's in the shop.