Michelle Quote #139
Clare: We had plans tonight.
Michelle: We can turn our jeans into hot pants any day of the week. We're talking about a free house here, Clare, a free house. We're gonna be drinking, dancing and riding.
Erin: Quick question on the old riding front there.
Michelle: Go on?
Erin: Who exactly will we be doing that with?
Michelle: Young, hot farmers. Donegal is coming down with them. Big strapping lads ripped to fuck from all the turf collecting.
Clare: Oh, don't worry about me.
Michelle: There's actually quite a few lesbians as well, Clare.
Clare: Lesbian farmers? Really?
Michelle: Lesbian farming is actually huge in the Republic. We'll get you sorted, don't worry.
Quote from Sister Michael
Sister Michael: Listen. I'm not going to make excuses for these kids, but... life has dealt them a very cruel hand, and they're living with a very serious condition. Truth is, Declan, they're from Derry.
Declan: Oh, God.
Declan: Well, that's punishment enough, I suppose.
Sister Michael: Quite.
Quote from Michelle
Michelle: Ugh. Where the hell are we?
James: I'll ask this woman. Excuse me? Sorry to bother you.
Sheila: A chairde. Cad e mar ata sibh?
James: Jesus, is she having a stroke?
Erin: She is an Irish speaker, James.
James: Oh, why can't everyone just speak English?
Michelle: Well, your crowd had a good stab at forcing the entire world to, but we didn't really enjoy it much, James. Imperialist prick!
Quote from Episode Three
Michelle: Christ, I feel a bit bokey. [Michelle opens the curtains]
Clare: Sweet sufferin' Jesus, it's the morning already! What are we going to do?
Michelle: Well, maybe we could start with calming the fuck down.
Clare: Calm down? We're still on William of Orange, Michelle! We haven't so much looked at the famine!
Michelle: We've got the gist. They ran out of spuds. Everyone was ragin'.
James: Well, I can't tell my rebellions from my risings.
Michelle: And whose fault's that? If your lot had stopped invading us for five fucking minutes there'd be a lot less to wade through, you English prick!
Quote from Episode Four
Michelle: Ssh! You'll scare Clive!
James: Who's Clive?
Michelle: Clive. Clive is a wee Prod from East Belfast. Clive came back from Ibiza, got on the wrong bus at Aldergrove Airport, then fell asleep. Clive woke up in Derry, surrounded by Russians and Fenians. Clive is absolutely shitting himself.
Erin: So where's the real Artem?
Michelle: Giant's Causeway, probably. Foreigners fucking love the Giant's Causeway.
Clive: I just want to go home! But she won't let me leave! She won't let me leave.
Michelle: I also think Clive may have had too many disco biscuits on his holidays.
Clare: [enters] Here you are!
Clive: Thank God! [hugs Clare in her Union Jack top] Whatever you do, don't slag off the Pope. We're outnumbered.