Michelle Quote #58
Ms. De Brún: Here's a poem about a dog. Here's another one about a dog. This one has no name on it. An English Rose Among Thorns? [James raises his hand] Yeah, I can see why you might want to remain anonymous, all right. Dog poem. Poem about a tree. This one's called Boys. "I think boys are really class. Especially the ones who have a nice ass."
Michelle: It's called a haiku.
Ms. De Brún: That's not what I would call it.
Quote from Sister Michael
Sister Michael: Now, what else was there? Yes. Sadly, Sister Patrick has decided to leave us. She's returning to her missionary work, educating the heathen inhabitants of a primitive and savage place.
Miss Mooney: She's taking a teaching post in Belfast, Sister.
Sister Michael: Precisely. The Board of Governors promised me that her replacement would arrive today, but as usual they were talking out of their... [door bangs]
Ms. De Brún: I believe you've been expecting me.
Sister Michael: [rolls eyes] Here we go.
Quote from Uncle Colm
Mary: But Colm's not here, is he, da? Da?
Colm: [to the girl at the counter] ... And that's not to say, now, that in my younger years, I didn't enjoy a boiled sweet. But then I heard tell of a fella from Ballynahinch... What was it his name was, now? I had it there a minute ago. Ach, it'll come to me. Anyway, this Ballynahinch lad, and, as I say, his name escapes me, but he was mad keen on the boiled sweets. Sure, he couldn't get enough of them. But in the end, well, didn't he choke to death on one? A pear drop, I think it was. Or a clove rock, maybe. But either way, it's not how I'd want to go.
Mary: [to the girl] I know, love. I know.
Quote from Sister Michael
Sister Michael: As you all know, at the beginning of term, the bishop graciously bestowed a beautiful piece of religious art onto our lady immaculate college. The Enchanting Child of Prague. There we are. Sure, isn't he a great fella altogether?
James: I still don't get what it's supposed to be.
Michelle: It's Jesus as a wain.
James: Why has he got a big red hat on?
Michelle: Nobody knows.
Sister Michael: It was the bishop's wish that he be passed around all the schools in the Derry Diocese. Therefore, we are joined this morning by Mr. Malone, headmaster of St. Benedict's, so that the handover ceremony can take place. You're very welcome, Mr. Malone. Though I fear you may have had a wasted journey. I've thought about it, and I'd much rather just hold on to him, actually. He brightens up my office. He doesn't answer back. I like the fella. And if the bishop has a problem with that, he can take it up with me.
Quote from Episode Three
Michelle: Christ, I feel a bit bokey. [Michelle opens the curtains]
Clare: Sweet sufferin' Jesus, it's the morning already! What are we going to do?
Michelle: Well, maybe we could start with calming the fuck down.
Clare: Calm down? We're still on William of Orange, Michelle! We haven't so much looked at the famine!
Michelle: We've got the gist. They ran out of spuds. Everyone was ragin'.
James: Well, I can't tell my rebellions from my risings.
Michelle: And whose fault's that? If your lot had stopped invading us for five fucking minutes there'd be a lot less to wade through, you English prick!
Quote from Episode Four
Michelle: Ssh! You'll scare Clive!
James: Who's Clive?
Michelle: Clive. Clive is a wee Prod from East Belfast. Clive came back from Ibiza, got on the wrong bus at Aldergrove Airport, then fell asleep. Clive woke up in Derry, surrounded by Russians and Fenians. Clive is absolutely shitting himself.
Erin: So where's the real Artem?
Michelle: Giant's Causeway, probably. Foreigners fucking love the Giant's Causeway.
Clive: I just want to go home! But she won't let me leave! She won't let me leave.
Michelle: I also think Clive may have had too many disco biscuits on his holidays.
Clare: [enters] Here you are!
Clive: Thank God! [hugs Clare in her Union Jack top] Whatever you do, don't slag off the Pope. We're outnumbered.
Quote from Across the Barricade
Clare: OK, how much money do we have?
Michelle: Look the riding of the Protestants is one thing, but I really don't see why we have to buy them a present. I mean, they already have all the land, all the jobs and all the fucking rights.
Erin: Aye, Michelle, that's definitely the attitude we should have entering into this weekend.