Michelle: Ssh! You'll scare Clive!
James: Who's Clive?
Michelle: Clive. Clive is a wee Prod from East Belfast. Clive came back from Ibiza, got on the wrong bus at Aldergrove Airport, then fell asleep. Clive woke up in Derry, surrounded by Russians and Fenians. Clive is absolutely shitting himself.
Erin: So where's the real Artem?
Michelle: Giant's Causeway, probably. Foreigners fucking love the Giant's Causeway.
Clive: I just want to go home! But she won't let me leave! She won't let me leave.
Michelle: I also think Clive may have had too many disco biscuits on his holidays.
Clare: [enters] Here you are!
Clive: Thank God! [hugs Clare in her Union Jack top] Whatever you do, don't slag off the Pope. We're outnumbered.

Orla: Which one's ours?
Erin: She didn't send a photo. Her family probably don't even own a camera. She'll find Derry a bit overwhelming at first, just because of how advanced everything is here. All the cracker stuff we have.
Orla: They have some pretty cracker stuff where she comes from, too, Erin.
Erin: Oh, really? Like what? Disease? Poverty?
Orla: No. You can get this wee woman made of wood, right? You pull her apart and inside her there's an even wee-er wooden woman, and you pull the wee-er wooden woman apart...
Erin: Are you talking about Russian dolls?

Clare: I'm very sorry for all your trouble. You know, the whole hoo-ha at the power plant.
Katya: OK.
Clare: When you think about it, we've actually got a lot in common, cos we understand what it's like to be a young person from a troubled place.
Katya: Hm, it is not the same. Chernobyl was terrible nuclear accident. You people like to fight each other and, to be honest, what person really understands why?
Erin: Well, there's actually a political element to it, Katya, and there's a religious element.
Katya: But you're not two different religions here, you're different flavours of same religion, no?
Erin: Well, yes... but... It's a little bit more complicated than that, Katya.
Katya: To me, is stupid.
Clare: Oh, my God... It is stupid. It is so, so stupid.