Mary: Well, the pair of you better sort it out. London's Burning's on in 20 minutes.
Sarah: God, Mary, but them poor fellas are flat out with fires, so they are. Jesus, but they never get a minute.
Mary: Aye, it's a good job they keep themselves in such great shape.
Sarah: Aw, don't, Mary. That Greek fella... He could throw me over his shoulder any day of the week.
Erin: Boke-o-rama.

Mary: Hey! What do you think you're playing at? Where's your blazer?
Erin: I've decided to put my own spin on the uniform this year.
Mary: I'll spin you across that floor. Get your blazer on.
Erin: Look, Mammy. I'm not a clone. I should be allowed to express my individuality. I'm sorry, I'm not wearing my blazer. End of story.
Mary: Gerry, pass me the wooden spoon.

Erin: You staged his death, Ma. I thought I'd lost him.
Mary: Well, you have lost him. We're not taking him back.
Erin: What?
Mary: Ah, come on. He's a shit dog.
Erin: Toto was not a shit dog.
Mary: Well, he was no Gypsy.
Erin: Stop it. I'm sick of it. You can't compare every animal you have to the dog you had when you were five years old.
Mary: I can, and I will. You're not gonna tell your granda, are you?
Erin: Well, I'm gonna need some time to think about that.

Orla: All right, how's it going?
Emmett: Not too bad, not too bad. And yourself?
Mary: I'm sorry, who are you?
Emmett: Ah, Emmett's the name. Well, not my real name, like, but it'll have to do. Anyway, I'll not be keeping
you. [starts to close the boot]
Mary: No, hold on. Wait.
Emmett: Yeah?
Mary: Do you mind telling us what you're doing in there?
Emmett: Oh, right. Well, during the last 24 hours, crossing the border has become somewhat of a priority for me, so I did a bit of asking around, you know, just on the off chance someone might be heading down that way, and your name came up. And... there you have it.
Gerry: Fantastic.
Emmett: All right? Lovely to meet you.

Michelle: Oh, and my mammy said to tell you...
Mary: Her big bowl. I know, I know, I keep forgetting, I'll drop it round today.
Michelle: No, she says you're to hang on to it.
Mary: What? She doesn't want her big bowl back? But why? There's nothing wrong with that bowl.
Sarah: Sure, I was admiring that bowl only yesterday.
Joe: It's a grand bowl.
Michelle: I'm just the messenger, folks.
Mary: Right.

Erin: Have a great day, everyone.
Mary: What are you in such a good mood about?
Erin: Just, you know, life.
Mary: You're up to something. And I'll get to the bottom of it. Honest to god, Erin, between you and Keyser Soze, my head is turned.
Erin: Who's Keyser Soze?
Gerry: God almighty!

Aunt Bridie: It wasn't my poor sister's fault. She tried her best with both of you, but you're your father's daughters, all right.
Mary: I'd rein it in, now, if I were you.
Aunt Bridie: I really think you were a disappointment to her, you know?
Joe: Now, hold on a goddamn minute!
Mary: Daddy, you will not dignify that with a response.
Aunt Bridie: And I'll tell you something else. If your mother saw thon hat, she'd be turning in her grave for it's nothing but a bloody eyesore.
Mary: Och, drop dead, you spiteful old hag!
[Aunt Bridie's eyes twitch before she falls back onto the floor with a thud]
Mary: Catch yourself on...

Mary: I just cannot believe it.
Sarah: Listen, Mary, no matter what you've done you're still my sister. I'll stand by you.
Mary: I haven't done anything, Sarah.
Joe: Exactly, love. Everybody knows you didn't mean to kill the old boot. God rest her soul.
Mary: I didn't kill her!
Joe: Och, you know what I mean, not kill... ..hex.
Mary: I didn't hex her either, Da! It was just a very tragic...
Joe: My mother, she had the gift too, you know. By God, that woman could make her enemies drop like flies.
Mary: Look, I don't have any gift. There's no dark forces at play here. I just said something unfortunate that happened to...
Sarah: Cause her death?
Mary: ...coincide with her death.

Eammon: No, Mary, no, I was just gonna say that my poor mother, God bless her and keep her...
Joe: Amen.
Eammon: ...well, she didn't mean what she said at the wedding.
Mary: Oh, please, you don't need to explain.
Eammon: You were worried I'd think you'd put a curse on her?
Mary: Well...
Eammon: That's hilarious.
Mary: Aye.
Eammon: I mean, obviously, a curse was my first thought. But I looked into it and Mammy's death, it doesn't meet the official requirements. So, you're completely in the clear on that front, Mary. Nothing to worry about at all.
Mary: Great.

Mary: God only knows what else we've missed.
Gerry: We won't have missed anything. [TV turns on] Yes!
News Presenter: [on TV] And tonight's main story again. A historic evening for Northern Ireland. As of midnight tonight, after 25 years, the IRA have called a ceasefire. In a statement released earlier this evening, they said there would be a "complete cessation of all military operations".
Mary: What did I tell you?
Sarah: Aye, well done, Gerry.