Derry Girls Quotes

Derry Girls

Derry Girls

A group of friends navigate their teen years in 1990s Derry, towards the end of the Troubles in Northern Ireland.

Starring: Saoirse-Monica Jackson, Louisa Harland, Nicola Coughlan, Jamie-Lee O'Donnell, Dylan Llewellyn, Tara Lynne O'Neill, Kathy Kiera Clarke, Siobhán McSweeney, Tommy Tiernan, Ian McElhinney.
Recurring Actors: Leah O'Rourke, Kevin McAleer.
Original Run: 2018-2021.

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Quote from Orla in The President

Clare: She can't do this. She simply cannot do this.
Michelle: Well, she's done it, Clare.
Clare: But it's history! She's making us miss history!
Orla: Och, but I really wanted to find out what that Cromwell fella got up to next. I really enjoy him.
Clare: Not history class, Orla! Real history! History being made!
Erin: And Irish people aren't allowed to enjoy Oliver Cromwell, Orla.
Orla: Why?
Michelle: Because he was a fucking arsehole.

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Quote from Michelle in Episode Three

Michelle: Christ, I feel a bit bokey. [Michelle opens the curtains]
Clare: Sweet sufferin' Jesus, it's the morning already! What are we going to do?
Michelle: Well, maybe we could start with calming the fuck down.
Clare: Calm down? We're still on William of Orange, Michelle! We haven't so much looked at the famine!
Michelle: We've got the gist. They ran out of spuds. Everyone was ragin'.
James: Well, I can't tell my rebellions from my risings.
Michelle: And whose fault's that? If your lot had stopped invading us for five fucking minutes there'd be a lot less to wade through, you English prick!

Quote from Clare in Across the Barricade

Clare: Seriously, folks, I'm not feeling entirely comfortable with this!
Father Peter: One... [Philip chuckles] two... [Clare screams] three.
Clare: [screams] Stop! Stop it! Get me out of here! He's trying to kill me! He wants to kill us all! All of the Catholics! Look at his eyes, he's a madman! A Fenian-hating madman. Don't let the Jaffa bastard hurt me! Please!
Erin: Jesus, Clare!
Michelle: Fuck-a-doodle do!

Quote from James in Episode Five

James: Why doesn't someone just call the police?
Erin: Cos that's not how things work around here, James.
James: Well, how do things work here? How do they work? Will one of you please explain it to me, because sometimes I feel like I've gone through the fucking looking glass!
Clare: Calm down, James.
Michelle: Aye, don't be such a dick, James.

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Quote from Ma Mary in Episode Five

Mary: I can't find my purse.
Gerry: I can see your purse right there.
Mary: No, that's my sterling purse. I'm talking about my punt purse. I can't find my punt purse, Gerry. [prays] Blessed St. Anthony, the Grace of God has made you the patron saint of all things lost and stolen. I turn to you this day with childlike love and...
Gerry: Look, Mary, calm down.
Mary: Calm down, Gerry? We have no punts! We can't go to the Free State without punts. We're puntless. We haven't a punt between us. Oh, God. I think... I think I'm having a panic attack. Oh, stupid punts.

Quote from Ma Mary in The President

James: Mum's had a lot going on.
Cathy Maguire: Yeah. I've actually just started my own business. It's been a real passion project, a real labour of love! And it's really starting to take off now, so...
Mary: Right. And what sort of area is it?
Cathy Maguire: Self-adhesive labels.
Mary: Stickers?
Cathy Maguire: I design high-end self-adhesive labels.
Mary: You make stickers.
Cathy Maguire: For bespoke gift packages.
Mary: You're a sticker maker.
Cathy Maguire: No, they're not stickers exactly.
Sarah: And would there be much money in sticker making, Cathy?
Cathy Maguire: They are not stickers! Labels. They're labels.

Quote from Sister Michael in Ms De Brún and the Child of Prague

Sister Michael: As you all know, at the beginning of term, the bishop graciously bestowed a beautiful piece of religious art onto our lady immaculate college. The Enchanting Child of Prague. There we are. Sure, isn't he a great fella altogether?
James: I still don't get what it's supposed to be.
Michelle: It's Jesus as a wain.
James: Why has he got a big red hat on?
Michelle: Nobody knows.
Sister Michael: It was the bishop's wish that he be passed around all the schools in the Derry Diocese. Therefore, we are joined this morning by Mr. Malone, headmaster of St. Benedict's, so that the handover ceremony can take place. You're very welcome, Mr. Malone. Though I fear you may have had a wasted journey. I've thought about it, and I'd much rather just hold on to him, actually. He brightens up my office. He doesn't answer back. I like the fella. And if the bishop has a problem with that, he can take it up with me.