Frasier: I don't know. I think there may be a place for a mechanical bull in our recreational schemata. It does, after all, provide modern man with a socially acceptable release for sexual tension and frustration.
Cliff: Riding one of those bulls can do that, Fras?
Frasier: Oh, hell, no, but catch a well-built young woman sometime bouncing around on the back of one, though. Whew! Get along, little dogie.

Woody: You know, I can't afford to make a mistake here. Kelly's mom just flew in this afternoon, and Kelly's bringing her by to meet me. It's crucial that I make a good impression.
Norm: Wait a second. I thought you knew her mom.
Woody: No. They're divorced. In fact, Kelly's mom is the only member of her family who I haven't met. Yeah, God. She's my last hope.
Sam: You're telling me that not one member of that family likes you?
Woody: Well, there's her Aunt Martha. She likes me.
Norm: Well, there you go.
Woody: She also thinks she's Eleanor Roosevelt. But if you get past that, she's pretty nice, what with all her charity work.

Woody: I was just having trouble tying this tie. Is my face getting purple?
Kelly: No, Woody. You look nice, but are you OK? You seem a little uncomfortable.
Woody: Well, yeah. It's, uh, brand-new underwear. I don't think I got all the stickers off.

Woody: Listen, to tell you the truth, Mrs. Gaines, I was real nervous about meeting you.
Roxanne: Oh! Whatever for?
Woody: Well, it's just that the rest of Kelly's family hates me. It's probably because I'm a bartender with no real future. Just a poor country bumpkin who's dumber than cotton.
Roxanne: Woody, I think you're a very nice young man.
Woody: Really? Well then forget all that bad stuff I said.

Rebecca: Come on, you cowboys! As long as that dumb thing's set up back there anyway, don't you wanna prove how macho you are by climbing aboard?
Norm: Hey, come on, Rebecca! We do not need a mechanical bull to prove how macho we are, okay? We are just as much men sitting right here on this bar stool, which, by the way, needs to be re-padded. My tush hurts. Really.

Carla: Face it, Rebecca. This dump is filled with wussy wimps.
Cliff: You just hold on there right now, Carla. l, for one, have a very good reason for not riding on that bull.
Norm: Right. He's afraid his keys are gonna fly out of his pocket.
Cliff: Oh, yeah? You guys can go ahead and make fun and all, but you get on that thing, the keys fly out of your pocket, hits you in the eye... You'll never enjoy a View-Master again I'll tell you.
Carla: Baloney, Clavin. You're just a chicken. [bawks]
Cliff: All right! Keep your corns on. I'm the only guy in this waterin' hole, obviously, who is man enough to take on that mechanical beast. Normie, watch my keys, will ya? Safety first.
Norm: What are friends for, Cliff?

Sam: Boy, I tell you, Mr. Gaines. I'd sure like to live in a place like this.
Mr. Gaines: Yes, a home in the suburbs is nice.
Sam: No, I mean this room.
Mr. Gaines: Well, Mr. Malone, you've gotten tiresome. I'm going to stand over there now.

Kelly: Woody, could you come here? My cousin Patsy wants to say hello.
Woody: Do I know her?
Kelly: Yeah, you remember. She was in the gazebo, but she's OK now.

Conrad: So, Sam, are you interested in buying in?
Sam: As a matter of fact, I happen to have about $500 just burning a hole in my checking account.
Conrad: Well, Sam, you know, the shares are $1,000 each.
Sam: Oh, well, I hate to hog a whole share by myself. Anyone want to go halfsies? All right, $1,000 it is. I'll just have to tighten my belt a little bit... Or eat it.

Roxanne: Ladies and gentlemen, hors d'oeuvres are being served in the salon.
Sam: Oh, food on a stick. Man, I'm starved.