‘Woody Gets an Election’
Season 11, Episode 21 - Aired April 22, 1993
When a city councilman up for re-election, Kevin Fogerty (Philip Baker Hall), visits the bar, Frasier is so fed up with politicians who don't say anything that he figures he could put Woody on the ballot and get at least 10% of the vote.
Quote from Cliff
[Cliff walks out of the back room with his hair spiked up, lipstick and eye shadow on his face]
Cliff: Well, Carla, I see you retaliated. Yeah, it turns out, uh, she slipped me a Mickey, so I'd fall asleep in the pool room. As it turns out, I woke up to find that she had tied my shoelaces together. Fortunately, I noticed it before I took my first step. Good try, Carla. Better luck next time. Excuse me, I have to go do my route now.
Kevin Fogerty: Excuse me. Kevin Fogerty, City Council. I just wanted you to know that I have always supported you people.
Cliff: Too little, too late, Fogerty.
Quote from Woody
Kevin Fogerty: Woody Boyd.
Woody: Hi, Mr. Fogerty.
Kevin Fogerty: So you're the young man everyone is talking about. Well, it's nice to finally meet you in person. You know, you remind me of a bright, young comer that took this town by storm 30 years ago. His name was Kevin Fogerty.
Woody: Any relation?
Kevin Fogerty: [chuckles] Ah! Boy, I'm looking forward to our debate tomorrow.
Quote from Woody
[fantasy:]
Chief Justice: Would you please raise your right hand and repeat after me. l, Woodrow Tiberius Boyd, do solemnly swear...
Woody: l, Woodrow Tiberius Boyd, do solemnly swear...
Chief Justice: that I will faithfully execute the office of the President of the United States and will, to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.
Woody: That I will faithfully... faithfully...
Chief Justice: Execute.
Woody: Execute
Chief Justice: The.
Woody: the
Chief Justice: Office.
Woody: office
Chief Justice: Of.
Woody: of
Chief Justice: The.
Woody: the
Chief Justice: President of the United States.
Woody: Oh, I-I got that. The President of the United States
Chief Justice: And will, to the best of my ability, preserve and protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.
Woody: Oh, boy.
Chief Justice: And.
Woody: and
Chief Justice: Will.
Woody: will
Chief Justice: Protect.
Woody: protect...
Quote from Woody
[fantasy:]
Woody: Oh, yeah? Well, I'm calling your bluff. I'm firing my missiles, too. All of 'em!
Kelly: Who was that, Woody?
Woody: [deep rumbling] How the hell should I know? The phone rings, I answer it. [booming explosion]
[reality: Frasier wakes up screaming in bed]
Quote from Woody
Norm: Hey, hey, huh? Good luck, all right? Don't forget that little talk we had about extending unemployment benefits.
Woody: Consider it done, Mr. Peterson. Oh, hey, Dr. Crane. Listen, uh... I just wanted to thank you, you know? Uh, without you, I couldn't have done this. In fact, you're directly responsible.
Frasier: No one can prove that.
Woody: I know you don't have a lot of faith in me, Dr. Crane, but I'm gonna prove you're wrong. I'm gonna study hard on all the issues, and I'm gonna be a great city councilman, and maybe this is just the first rung on a very long ladder, and you're the man who made it happen.
[Frasier imagines a booming explosion]
Quote from Frasier
Rebecca: Hey, hey, turn on the news. Fogerty just got arrested for public drunkenness.
Sam: You're kidding. [turns on TV]
Frasier: Good God. This will be a major scandal. You know, this could really rock his campaign.
Carla: I bet the person who's running against him is pretty happy. [all look at Woody]
Norm: Yeah, I bet if we just printed up a few more posters...
Cliff: Yeah, and maybe, uh, did some door-to-door canvassing...
Carla: Yeah, and made some personal appearances.
Frasier: We're going for it! [cheering]
Woody: Whoo! Going for what? I missed a step.