Kevin McHale: Hey, Sammy?
Sam: Yeah.
Kevin McHale: I came through with that jacket for Norm. Where's that autographed Red Sox baseball you got for me?
Sam: Oh, right, right. I'll be, I'll be right back. All right. [to Phil] Is it almost ready?
Phil: Yeah. How many G's in Boggs?
Sam: Two.
Phil: Is that all? Doesn't look right.
Sam: Shh.

Cliff: Normie?
Norm: Yeah.
Cliff: Even though l, uh, chipped in for the beer with the guys, I also got you a little special gift.
Norm: Yeah? What's that?
Cliff: Well, uh, I did some research on the, uh, historical significance of birthdays. Uncovered a lot of interesting facts and, uh I'm not gonna share 'em with ya.
Norm: Oh, Cliff, man.
Cliff: Happy birthday, big guy.

Lilith: Frasier? I've just come from the beauty salon. I asked them to do something a little different with my hair.
Frasier: Then you actually went through with it? My darling, I'm, I'm all anticipation. I've never seen you out, but with your by-now trademark chignon.
Lilith: Thus the change. [removes headscarf] What do you think, Frasier?
Frasier: It's hard to say. [laughs]
Lilith: You're laughing!
Frasier: [laughing] I'm sorry, dear. You're taking it all the wrong way. You see, it was just the initial reaction of seeing you different and you know, now that I look at it again, it's... [laughing]
Lilith: Stop laughing. You're hurting my feelings.
Frasier: I'm sorry. Your what? [Lilith runs out] No, no, darling, please, please. Look, give me another chance. Please. Another chance. Please! [Frasier laughs as Lilith turns around]

Sam: Oh, I've never seen Kevin play that poorly before in my life.
Tim: What was he doin' out there?
Carla: I don't know. I mean, he wasn't even looking at the other players. He was just staring at the floor and moving his lips.
Norm: I think he was countin' the bolts on the floor.
Sam: No, come on. He wouldn't do that in the middle of a game.
Sam: Hey, look, they're gonna interview Kevin.
[on TV:]
Glen Ordway: This is Glen Ordway on the floor of the Garden. We're gonna see if we can catch Kevin McHale, ask him a couple of questions and find out exactly what went wrong out on the floor here tonight. Uh, here he comes right now. Uh, Kevin, can I ask you a couple of questions?
Kevin McHale: Hundred and nine, hundred and ten, hundred and eleven, hundred and twelve...
[back in the bar]
Carla: Now look what you've done! You have ruined him! You've ruined Kevin McHale! You took the scoring machine, one of Boston's greatest living sports legends and turned him into one of you!
Guys: [chant] Kevin, Kevin, Kevin, Kevin

Sam: [on the phone] Hey, Kevin!
Kevin McHale: Hey, Sammy, boy, I'm having a rough night.
Sam: Yeah, ooh, boy, we caught the game. Yeah, you really stunk it up out there, huh?
Kevin McHale: Hey, I saw you pitch. You're not entitled to an opinion. You know what it is, though it's those bolts. I tell you, I can't get them out of my mind. You know, I've called the people all over town, and no two people seem to have the same answer. Sammy, it's driving me crazy.
Sam: Kevin, you, you got to take it easy with this. I mean, bar trivia can eat you up, pal.
Carla: [grabs the phone] Kevin, it's not too late! Get help!
Sam: Don't-
Lynn McHale: Honey, who's that?
Kevin McHale: Just the guys down at Cheers.
[Lynn McHale pulls the cord out of the phone]

Lilith: My motive, of course, was to please Frasier. But this evening, after dinner, he laughed so hard, cappuccino ran out of his nose. Rebecca, you're a friend. Does this permanent make my hair look utterly ridiculous?
Rebecca: No, not at all. I think it's a delightful change.
Lilith: So do l. Damn that Frasier! For a moment, he had me believing I was a laughingstock. Thank you.
Rebecca: Don't mention it. What're friends for?
Carla: How can you just stand there, staring at that hairdo and not bust a gut laughing?
Rebecca: [voice straining] No problem.
[Rebecca lifts up her arm to show she has placed her hand in a mouse trap]

Sam: How come you're not in bed, man?
Kevin McHale: Oh, I couldn't sleep.
Sam: You got a big game tomorrow.
Kevin McHale: I don't care. All I care about are those bolts. So I ran out and got a set of blueprints to the Garden. Find out how many bolts there are in that floor right now.
Norm: Wait a minute. Where'd you get blueprints this time of night?
Kevin McHale: Ah, I know somebody down at City Hall. Kind of a sports legend in this town, huh?
Norm: Oh, yeah?
Cliff: Yeah, all right. Oh, hey, gee, there, I'm sorry, Kevin, but these are the blueprints for the new Garden that they're building.
Kevin McHale: No.
Cliff: Yeah, yeah, you see, there should be a mailbox right there.

Kevin McHale: No, no. Oh, give me that phone! I hope the mayor's still up. Give me that phone.
Sam: No, no, no. I don't think you should do that, man. Don't do that.
Kevin McHale: Sammy, I'm telling you right now, I got to know. I got to know. I'm telling you, nothing, I mean nothing's going to stop me.
Lynn McHale: [enters] Kevin.
Kevin McHale: Good night, guys. [exits]

Woody: Hey, Mr. Clavin, I have a question.
Cliff: Yeah, fire away there.
Woody: Well, how can they play hockey in here, there's no ice?
Cliff: Oh, the ice is, uh, right under the floor there, Woody.
Woody: It's under the floor right now?
Cliff: Absolutely! Why don't you, uh, pick one of these things up, have a look-see? Here, use my Swiss Army Knife.

Norm: What a day. First Sammy gets me Kevin McHale's jacket. Then I get to sneak around the Garden. Even look at the plywood under the floor. Now we're getting chased off by security guards. [laughs] I'm sorry, guys. I never had a more beautiful day in my life.