Alex Trebek: So you think I should stay as the host of Jeopardy!?
Cliff: Absolutely.
Alex Trebek: And you won't bear me any ill will if I do?
Cliff: Oh, bite your tongue.
Alex Trebek: All right. It's settled. I'm going to stay on as the host of Jeopardy!.
Cliff: Oh, thank goodness, Alex. Hey. Hey. Hey, you hear that, everybody? I saved Jeopardy!. I'm going to call Ma. She'll get a big kick out of this.
Norm: Alex. That's all right. You're a regular guy, coming in here to make Cliff feel better. That's great.
Alex Trebek: I just came in here for a beer, but I saw Cliff, and I figured I'd better say something, so I made up that story about quitting. He scares me.
Norm: You, too, huh?

Sam: Woody?
Woody: Nope, it's not here, Sam. Wait a second. My watch is gone. Oh. Here it is on my right hand. I took it off my left hand so it wouldn't get wet when I was washing the bar glasses.
Norm: Wood, don't you use both hands when you wash the glasses?
Woody: Well, that's OK. It's waterproof.

Carla: Why don't you give the guy a break?
Rebecca: Why should l?
Carla: Because if you don't, I might have to bring up that thing I happen to know about.
Rebecca: What thing?
Carla: The very personal thing I happened to overhear. You know what I'm talking about. That thing that if it ever got out, you won't be able to show your face around here again.
Rebecca: [to Sam] What is it you want me to do? [walks away with Sam]
Norm: Carla, that's amazing. What have you got on her?
Carla: Nothing. I bluffed. She crumbled.

Woody: [answers phone] Cheers. Uh, just a second. Sam, it's for you. It's someone named Carmen.
Sam: Carmen, as in Carmenget it?
Woody: Just a second, I'll check. Carmen, as in...
Sam: No, whoa, whoa. [takes the phone] Yo, Carmen. Ho, ho, ho, hey, slow down a second. Let me get a word in edgewise, honey. No, I didn't...
Norm: Hung up on you?
Sam: She used to be. Dang, man. That's very weird. She wanted to know why I stood her up.
Carla: You missed a date?
Sam: No, I didn't make one, but she said she spent the afternoon waiting for me at the roller rink dressed in a black leather miniskirt and French-cut panties. Man, I wouldn't forget something like that.
Norm: I'll remember it on my deathbed.
Sam: You know what, I'm going to call her and straighten this out. Wait a minute. Oh, my God. It's not there. My little black book, somebody took it. All right, everybody freeze! All right. Don't anybody move here. Just stay put. Are you moving? All right. I'm going to lock the door here. I'm going to turn off the lights. And whoever took my little black book will just put it right back on the bar. No questions asked. Here we go.

Frasier: You're going about this thing all wrong, Sam. Now let's just retrace your steps starting in the morning.
Norm: There you go.
Sam: So this morning, l... I took it out of the wall safe, and I slipped it into its waterproof pouch. And I got dressed and I came here.
Frasier: Well, did you stop anywhere on your way to work?
Sam: Yes, yes! Oh, thank you! Oh, God! The laundromat. That's where it is.
Woody: Oh, hey, Sam, if you're going to the laundromat, can you do something for me?
Sam: I don't have time to do your laundry, Woody.
Woody: Well, no, if you see a sock like this, could you bring it back? I'm missing two of them.

Rebecca: You know how people go on the show Jeopardy! and they always tell some little amusing anecdote?
Cliff: Yeah, sure.
Rebecca: Well, I was just standing over there thinking that maybe it would be good publicity for the bar if you could come up with a funny little blurb about Cheers.
Norm: Cliffie, I know, why don't you tell them about the time we got that really bad keg of beer and everyone got sick all over the place, remember?
Cliff: Yeah!
Carla: No, no, no, remember that glow in the dark men's room fungus?
Woody: Now how about the time you found that dead possum on the steps? At least I hope that was a possum. I hate to think a rat could get that big.

Sam: [answers phone] Cheers. Annie.
Norm: As in Annietime he wants.
Sam: Whoa, hey, whoa, no, wait a second. I did not make a date with you. What are you talk... Hello? [puts phone down] I can't believe that, twice in one day.
Frasier: What's that, Sam?
Sam: Annie said I made a date to have breakfast with her. Spent two hours waiting for me at the roller rink in French cut panties and a miniskirt. I don't even have my black book, so I can't call her back.
Frasier: That's your answer, Sam. There's some guy out there with your book that's making these dates in your name and then not showing up.
Sam: Which means at this very moment, there could be dozens of gorgeous women in French cut panties and mini skirts just hanging around the roller rink, and there's not one damn thing we can do about it.
[Norm, Frasier and the rest of the men in the bar get off their stools and head for the door]
Sam: Can someone give me a ride? My car's in the shop, I swear to you.

Woody: Hey, Sam, I got a bunch of messages for you. Mostly girls screaming at you.
Sam: Oh, man. This is sick. The guy's going through my list of babes. I mean, first the As, then the Bs, he's worked his way through the Gs. I mean, where's he going to strike next?
Frasier: The Hs.
Woody: Hey, that's good work, Dr. Crane. You know, think like a criminal.
Frasier: Or like somebody acquainted with our alphabet.

Woody: Can you believe it? Mr. Clavin's going into final Jeopardy with $22,000.
Norm: Yeah, and I'm really depressed, too.
Woody: Why?
Norm: Ah, I know he's going to blow it before I have a chance to hit him up for a loan.
Woody: What, he's way ahead. There's no way he can lose.
Norm: Well, you got to have faith, Woody.

Norm: Can I have another beer, please?
Rebecca: I don't see any money, Norm.
Norm: Yeah, yeah. I really should go hit that bank machine, I guess, but, um, but I hope on the way out I don't happen to just inadvertently mention that one thing that Carla and I happen to know about you.
Rebecca: Shut up, Norm, and drink your free beer.
Norm: [to Carla] This bluffing thing is a gold mine.
Carla: Yeah, I've given you a wonderful gift, my son. You must use it for good only, never for evil.
Norm: Free beer is good, right?
Carla: You learn fast, young Norm.