Best ‘Cheers’ Quotes   Page 2 of 25    

Quote from Woody in Don't Shoot... I'm Only the Psychiatrist

Woody: I can't believe it. I'm being shunned. Just like back in Hanover. Just like with the Amish.
Norm: Wood? Who, uh, who shunned you back in Hanover?
Woody: The Amish. Weren't you here for this part?

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Quote from Frasier in Veggie-Boyd

Sam: These are, uh, trivia napkins. Ever since I got the bar back, I've been looking for ways to say, "Hey, thank you for patronizing me."
Frasier: Oh, Sam, I- I know you wanted to use a great big word there. I think that's marvelous, but I believe what you meant to say was, "Thank you for your patronage."
Sam: Really? What's the difference?
Frasier: Patronage means customers. Patronizing is the way one would talk to a small, dull child.
Sam: Kind of like how you're talking to me right now?
Frasier: Aren't you cute!

Quote from Cliff in What Is... Cliff Clavin?

Alex Trebek: Agnes, what did you put down? "Who are Tony Curtis, Cary Grant, and Lucille Ball?" You're so very close, but you're incorrect, unfortunately, and that means it's going to cost you... $2,900. That takes you down to $400. And it takes us to Cliff. Cliff, good news for you, both of your opponents came up with incorrect responses. And what that means is that even if you're wrong, as long as you didn't do anything foolish like wager everything, you're a cinch winner.
Cliff: Well, then we don't have to see my answer there, do we, Alex? [covers screen with his jacket] Listen, see you at the tournament of champions.
Alex Trebek: Cliff, we're running out of time. And we are going to have to take a look at your response. You wrote down, "Who are three people who have never been in my kitchen?" No, I'm sorry. That, too, is wrong. The correct response is, what were the real names of Cary Grant, Tony Curtis, and Joan Crawford?
Cliff: Be that as it may, Alex, those people have never been in my kitchen.
Alex Trebek: Well, I'm sure they haven't, but obviously that's not what we were going for when we wrote up that clue.
Cliff: Obvious to who?

Quote from Norm in Paint Your Office

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Man: Hey.
Woody: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Let's talk about what's going in Mr. Peterson. Beer, Woody.

Quote from Norm in The Proposal

Norm: [enters] Good afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm.
Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson. What's the story?
Norm: Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy gets another beer.

Quote from Carla in Cheerio, Cheers

Coach: Carla, what are you looking for? A sign from God? Religious belief is based on faith.
Carla: Yeah, well, I never thought I'd say this, Coach, but I think I've lost faith.
Frasier: Hey, listen up, everybody. I have an announcement to make. Diane here is leaving for Europe and she's not coming back to Cheers ever.
[Carla drops to her knees and prays]
Carla: [sings] I believe for every drop of rain that falls a flower grows. I believe that somewhere in the darkest night a candle glows.

Quote from Norm in Behind Every Great Woman

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Sam: What would you like, Norm?
Norm: A reason to live. Keep them coming.

Quote from Sam in The Proposal

Sam: You know, for the longest time, I kept pretending about you. I guess I was afraid to really admit my feelings. But from the very start, down deep inside, I have been crazy about you. Crazier about you than any other woman I've ever met. I mean, hell, I was crazy about you even when I hated you. [Diane laughs] What I'm trying to say is will you marry me?
Diane: No.
Sam: No?
Diane: No.
Sam: Are you serious?
Diane: I'm afraid I am.
Sam: Well... seems to me you have two choices. One, I can throw you in. Or two, you can jump in.

Quote from Lilith in The Girl in the Plastic Bubble

Lilith: I'm going now. I'd like to leave a parting word. I want you to know that what I'm doing is very difficult. It is not to hurt Frasier. It's to acknowledge the fact that I'm changing. No one can go living year in and year out without ever changing. It's impossible. [looks at Norm and Cliff] Or at least it's very rare.

Quote from Lilith in I'm Okay, You're Defective

[some time in the future:]
Lawyer: I am sorry about the passing of your husband, Lilith. Frasier was a good man, and we will all miss him.
Lilith: Thank you.
Lawyer: Well, I now have the unhappy task of reading your late husband's will.
Frederick: You okay, Mother?
Lilith: Yes. Thank you, Frederick.
Lawyer: "Sam Malone's sperm count is well within normal range."
Lilith: That damn bar.

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