Norm: So, uh, Woodster, what time we leaving, bud?
Woody: Well, Mr. Peterson, you'd be interested in going to something like this?
Cliff: Yeah. Dit-dit-dit-dit... Fair is fair.
Norm: What?
Cliff: Now, Woody didn't l, uh, invite you to a very special occasion just last week?
Woody: That's right, Mr. Clavin. I sure did enjoy that garage sale.

Eddie LeBec: Hey, are the kids home? I haven't talked to them since I got back. I want to give them a call.
Carla: Oh, yeah, go ahead.
Eddie LeBec: All right.
Carla: Just make sure you identify yourself by name. Just saying, "It's Dad" leaves too much room for confusion.

Woody: [on Frasier's portable phone] Mom, you'll never believe this. I'm calling you from a briefcase. Yeah?

Woody: Hey, congratulations, Mr. Peterson. You're the winner.
Norm: Put it on my headstone.
Cliff: [panting] Well, congratulations, Norm. [panting] You won the first leg of our triathlon. Now, onto the. Now, onto the, uh, biking and swimming portions.
Man: [enters with Frasier] Anybody know this guy? We found him face down at the top of the steps.
Carla: Never saw him before.
Woody: Oh, hey, Mr. Peterson, we better hurry, or we're gonna miss the kickoff.
Norm: What? Get out of here. What are you?
Woody: Come on, come on. Got to run.
Norm: Oh, no Woody! No, man! Wait.
[Norm tries to crawl up the steps outside Cheers]
Man: Excuse me. I think the guy on the steps would like something to drink.
[Norm gestures for a beer]
Rebecca: We don't do takeout.

Cliff: Well, there he goes, Carla. Don't say I didn't warn you. [Carla throws a beer in Cliff's face]
Frasier: You got to give her credit. She didn't say it.

Rebecca: Carla, you don't have anything to worry about. I am telling you Franzi would never date anyone from that crummy ice show.
Sam: I can't believe that dame! She said she can't see me because she's fallen for some guy in the ice show. [Carla gasps]
Rebecca: Carla, she's probably just saying that because she wants to get Sam to quit bugging her. I'll have to remember that one.

Carla: That no-good, two-timing scum-sucking, son of a...
Eddie LeBec: [enters] Hey, honey bear, come give your lover man a hug.
[Carla screams as she runs at Eddie and tackles him to the ground. Sam manages to lift Carla off Eddie]
Sam: Hey, Eddie, Eddie. Hey, do you mind if I borrow Carla here for a minute?
Eddie LeBec: No problem. It'll give me time to look for my tooth.
Sam: Hey, Frasier, help him out there, will ya? Tell him one of your funny psychiatry stories, will ya?
Sam: Will you sit down? Now, what the hell do you think you're doing?
Carla: I'm killing the horny little frog!

Sam: Listen, I'm talking about the occasional back rub, the general all-around pampering. You know, maybe buy one of those low-cut, frilly dresses.
Rebecca: Oh, you mean that "total woman" BS? I find that completely repulsive.
Sam: Well, that explains all the men beating down your door, doesn't it?

Carla: Here you are, sweetheart. Just the way you like it.
Eddie LeBec: Oh, thanks. I thought you forgot us.
Carla: Oh, no! I was just carrying another keg in from the garage. [doorbell rings] Oh, let me get that, baby face.
Eddie LeBec: And when you're through with that, could you grab me a beer?
Carla: Anything you want. [kisses Eddie]
Norm: Me, too, please.
Carla: What do I look like, a waitress? [hits Norm on the head with her serving tray]

Sam: Just come on. Come here, will you? Look, murder is not the answer to every one of life's little problems, you know that? First of all, you don't even know if he did anything wrong, and second, if he was a little tempted, maybe you pushed him into it.
Carla: Oh, what are you talking about?
Sam: Did you ever think that maybe you aren't exactly nice to the guy?
Carla: Sammy, you know me. This is as nice as it gets.
Sam: But this is the way you handle everything in your life, and it never works.
Carla: Okay, O God of Good Relationships, what do you suggest I do?
Alan: Carla, Carla, you got to let Eddie know how you feel inside. You must embrace him not, not just with your heart, but with your very soul. Give unto him and he will give unto you.
Norm: Okay, no more for this clown.