Sam: Morning, Norm.
Norm: Morning, Sam. Coffee's on.
Sam: Great. Any calls?
Norm: Mmm. Vera called this morning.
Sam: Oh, yeah? You guys gonna patch it up?
Norm: No. She just wanted to reach out and nag someone.
Sam: Come on. Admit it, Norm. You miss her.
Norm: Yeah. Yeah, I do miss her. As a matter of fact, Sam, there's only one thing that keeps me from taking her back right now.
Sam: She kicked you out on your butt.
Norm: Right.

Norm: Sammy, I appreciate you letting me crash here for a while.
Sam: Don't mention it.
Norm: When I get back on my feet, I insist on paying you some kind of rent.
Sam: Come on, Norm, that's not necessary.
Norm: Come on, I have my pride to consider, Sam.
Sam: All right. You can pay me a dollar a month.
Norm: For what?
Sam: All right, how about 50 cents?
Norm: Fine, fine. But no cleaning deposit. We're low on cream, Sam.
Sam: I'll get on it.
Norm: No rush. No rush.

Diane: I wonder what Dick Cavett's doing in Boston.
Sam: [to Carla] I don't like the look on her face.
Carla: I haven't seen one I do like.

Cliff: Ah, well, it just goes to show you there, Coach, everybody needs a little bit of exercise.
Coach: Yeah, I could sure use something, Cliffo. What do you recommend?
Cliff: Ah, you could do what I do. It's prehensile isotonic geometrics.
Coach: Huh?
Cliff: Prehensile isotonic geometrics.
Coach: What is it?
Cliff: Oh, it's muscle tension under constant contraction. See, the beauty of it is you can do it any time, anywhere, but you don't perspire. You wanna give it a shot here, Coach?
Coach: Yeah, sure.
Cliff: So choose a muscle and when I say "Go", flex it for 60 seconds. One, two, three, go.
Norm: Uh-oh. I saw this on Twilight Zone once.

Sam: I'm sorry about that, Mr. Cavett. She gets a little overexcited at time.
Dick Cavett: Oh, that's all right. Happens all the time.
Sam: Hey, I'm Sam Malone, owner of the bar. You want anything, just call me, all right?
Dick Cavett: Wait. Sam Malone? Did you used to play baseball?
Sam: Yeah, that's right. You remember me?
Dick Cavett: Sure. I saw you pitch once at Yankee Stadium.
Sam: Is that right? Did I have a good night?
Dick Cavett: I hope so. You had a lousy day. I remember you hit three batters and gave up back-to-back homers. You remember that game?
Sam: I had a drinking problem back in those days. There are a few things I don't remember. Like, uh, 1974, 1975.
Dick Cavett: '75. The year you won the pennant.
Sam: We did? How about that! Is that right?

Wally: Moonglow? Moonglow Peterson, is that you? It's me, Wally Bodell.
Norm: Wally Bodell? From Dean Acheson High?
Wally: One and the same!
Norm: Hey, well, I'll be! I haven't seen you since high school. You've put on a few pounds, pal.
Wally: You lost a few.
Norm: Yeah, you know, I work out a little bit, you know.

Dick Cavett: Well, I sounded him out about it but he feels it's a little tame. Not controversial enough.
Sam: What about the booze problem?
Dick Cavett: Well, I guess booze isn't enough these days. Maybe ten years ago. You know, nowadays, they're looking for something spicier: drugs, homosexuality, a little perversion.
Sam: Well, I'm sorry I didn't get out more.
Dick Cavett: You know what, there is an inference in here that you were a bit of a playboy during your career.
Sam: Playboy? [chuckles] Hell, yes, I... [off Diane's look] Well, kind of.

Wally: You know, Norm and I competed for Vera all through high school.
Norm: Yeah, yeah.
Wally: Whatever happened to her, Norm?
Norm: I married her. Married the hell out of her. Actually, Wally, Vera and I are kind of separated right now.
Wally: Yeah? Oh, that's too bad. Too bad. You wouldn't mind if I just sort of dropped by and said hello to her, would you?
Norm: Mind? [scoffs] Hell, no. She's nothing to me now. Don't worry about it.
Cliff: Yeah, he's going out with a girl a lot better than that old Vera. Yeah, that old hag. And you can tell her, too.
Wally: What's her name?
Cliff: It's Tanya.
Norm: Right, Tanya.
Cliff: Yeah, Tanya Cocoabutter.

Coach: Oh, I never felt better. I feel 20 years old again.
Carla: Good for you, Coach.
Coach: Carla, listen, I bet I could do handstand push-ups right now and I haven't done any in years. I'm gonna try it.
Cliff: Oh, Coach, you be careful there. You might hurt something.
Coach: I gotta try it, Cliffo. [Carla gasps as the Coach does it] Now let me try it one-handed. I still got the old touch!
Sam: Coach, what the hell are you doing?
Coach: Handstand push-ups. Like I used to do in spring training.
Sam: Coach, you never did handstand push-ups in spring training. No, that was Johnny Driscoll.
Coach: Oh, yeah. Johnny Driscoll. [thud]
Carla: Are you OK?
Coach: Yeah, Carla, I'm OK, thanks to Sam.

Diane: Coach, do you know who that is?
Coach: Who, the guy with Dick Cavett?
Diane: Coach, that's Dick Cavett.
Carla: Yeah, that is him.
Cliff: Yeah. Lecturer, talk show host, raconteur, short guy.
Carla: Kind of cute for a brainiac.