Norm: I mean, how would I even get started? Where can I find somebody with the appropriate skills?
Rudy: Look, if you really need some help, I could sure use the work.
Norm: I don't know, pal. I never hired anybody before. You know, I feel kinda weird about it. I wouldn't know what to ask you.
Rudy: Well, while you're thinking, about it, can I buy you a beer?
Norm: Welcome aboard.

Rebecca: You were saying, Norm?
Norm: I just can't get used to bossing people around, you know? I can't seem to make my workers do the things they're supposed to, like increase their productivity, exceed their goals, show up.
Rebecca: You're not letting your employees take advantage of you, are you?
Norm: Yeah, maybe a little bit. Yesterday afternoon, the guys decided to knock off early and just go bowling.
Rebecca: So what'd you do?
Norm: I broke 200.
Cliff: Hey, all right!
Norm: Thank you. A personal high. It was great.

Woody: Oh, Mr. P. Tsk tsk tsk.
Rebecca: That's very irresponsible, Norm. As the boss, you have to show these people an example.
Norm: Yeah, I guess you're right, Woody, but... I tell you, I cannot be one of these hard-nosed bosses, OK? I mean, I've had bosses like that. I hate those guys.
Rebecca: Being in charge is not a popularity contest. You are not in business to get people to like you. Now, I don't get why you would care what your employees think? I don't care.
Carla: Obviously not.
Rebecca: What is that supposed to mean?
Carla: Nothing.
Rebecca: No. You already said it. Don't just leave me dangling. I mean, I do have feelings, for god's sake.
Carla: I'm sorry. We like you.
Rebecca: Really? Thank you, Carla!

Norm: It's not like I'm a total washout as a boss. I mean, yesterday afternoon, for example, after we went bowling, I really laid down the law with my guys. I said if we're going to get anywhere as a company, we got to really buckle down. But I think I may have to lean on them a little bit harder.
Rebecca: How come?
Norm: That's them coming out of the pool room.

Dennis: I'm Dennis Hamill. I'm here about the Corvette.
Sam: Great. Dennis, have a seat right there.
Dennis: I can't wait to see it.
Sam: Whoa, slow down there. Now, first we have to learn a little bit about you here.
Dennis: About me?
Sam: Yeah. Yeah. You see, matching a Corvette with the right owner, Dennis, is kinda like... Finding a home for an animal. Except an animal's just an animal, and we're talking about a Corvette.

Norm: Damn! It's still busy. How can those guys be on the phone all day? They're supposed to be painting.
Cliff: You know, in the future, telephones will be obsolete.
Norm: Yeah?
Cliff: Absolutely right. People will communicate telekinetically using part of their brain known as the cerebral cortex that is heretofore untapped.
Carla: May l?
Norm: Yeah.
[Carla takes the telephone receiver from Norm and hits Cliff over the head with it]
Carla: It's been tapped now.

Cliff: This Bertolt Brecht. Did he write any plays about rib joints?

Frasier: Where's Sam?
Carla: He'll be right back. He just sold his Vette and he's picking up his new car.
Cliff: Oh, yeah? What did he get? Turbo Z? Trans-Am?
Carla: A Volare.
Cliff: Oh, poor Sam.
Carla: Yeah, he just called from the used car circus. It must have been the ringmaster's special. Anyway, he was really a little depressed about it, so maybe we just shouldn't mention it, all right?
Cliff: Oh, yeah.
Sam: [enters] Hi, guys.
All: [sing] Volare, oh oh...
Sam: Hey, listen, you got something to say to me, just say it.
All: [sing] Cantare, oh oh oh oh

Norm: Wait a second, man, you got it all wrong.
Rudy: Oh, save it for the stage, Anton!
Norm: What?
Rudy: Man, this is reality!
Norm: Huh? [shouts] All right, I am Kreitzer! Do you wanna go back to work for me? Yeah, man, I'd love working for a psycho.
Rudy: Gosh, man, you're pathetic.
Norm: Wait a minute! Rudy, Rudy, Rudy! Come on now! I'm not Kreitzer, I'm Norm Peterson. I swear to god. I can prove it to you. Watch this. [enters the bar] Afternoon, everyone.
All: Anton!

Sam: [on the phone] Hello? This is Anton Kreitzer! I'm calling about the corvette you bought from a Mr. Sam Malone! Yeah, well, give it back right now! [normal voice] No, no, don't hang up. Don't hang up, please. It's not Kreitzer, it's Sam. I want my car back. Please? I'm having seller's remorse. All right, listen, I'll tell you what. I'll pay you 500 more than you bought it for. All right, wait, wait, wait. I'll pay you 1,000 more than you bought it for.
Frasier: Excuse me, Sam.
Sam: Can you hold on just a second, please?
Frasier: As a trained psychiatrist, I'm well-versed in the art of human persuasion. I think I can handle this for you. [on the phone] Lilith, damn it, give Sam his car back immediately! [hangs up] There. Probably getting tired of those speeding tickets, anyway.