Sam: Well, it's nice seeing you guys have fun like that.
Rebecca: Oh, yeah. And you know what's different about Don? It's like I'm not always thinking about my next move. You know, the less I work at it, the better it seems to get. So I'm just gonna take it nice and easy, nice and slow, you know, one step at a time, I'm not gonna fall too hard or too fast. God, I love him! I love him so much! Do you know what I'm saying?
Sam: [falsetto] Yes, you love him!
Rebecca: Yes! There's even talk of marriage.
Cliff: Marriage?!
Rebecca: Yeah.
Sam: He- He talked about marriage?
Rebecca: Well, he says it with his eyes. And you know what, l, I just have to say that if, if he did ask me to marry him right now, I think that I would have to say yes.
Sam: Honey, don't- You want to step into my office just for a second?
Rebecca: Sure, Sam. Looky! Looky! Looky! Looky!

Cliff: You know the idea of romantic love is a relatively new phenomenon.
Norm: Yeah.
Cliff: In olden cultures, wives were no more than chattel. They'd parade the women through the marketplace dressed in nothing but flimsy, tight-fitting animal skins with their breasts heaving and undulating in the...
Norm: Cliff, I don't want to hear anymore of this, okay?
Cliff: Anybody who wants to hear the rest of the story, uh, follow me in the pool room, please.
Norm: Go ahead, Paul. You know you want to.

Rebecca: Now, Sam, I appreciate this but I'm a big girl. And you know what? I think I'm gonna go for it.
Sam: All right, okay, but you're settling.
Rebecca: Settling? No way.
Sam: Honey, come on. Look, you've had bad luck with men all your life. You're afraid you're never gonna get married, so you're latching onto the first guy that gives you the time of day.
Rebecca: That is absolutely, categorically not true!
Sam: Yes, it is.
Rebecca: So what? Is it not better that I settle and I have someone than stick to my high standards and have no one and end up an old maid?

Sam: Yeah, I'm talking about Rebecca. You know, I'm a little worried about her.
Frasier: Well, how so?
Sam: Well, she made up this weird story about how no one would want to marry me because, you know, I've had a lot of women in my day.
Frasier: What exactly do you find weird about that?
Sam: Don't say you agree with her?
Frasier: Well, she has a point, Sam. Having a prolific sexual past can be very intimidating and even unattractive to a potential mate.
Sam: Well, you're as crazy as she is, Frasier! Come on, man, you know, the woman I choose is going to feel very special. You know, like when a great chef picks the perfect pork chop?
Frasier: That's beautiful, Sam.

Sam: I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life. You know, and I think I need a little advice.
Norm: Well, well, hold on a second. Is this going to be one of those conversations where you're feeling sort of vulnerable and you really need a good friend to talk to 'cause you're thinking about changing the direction of your life?
Sam: Yeah.
Norm: Could you just hang on a second, then? Just...
Paul: Norm said you wanted to talk to me?

Sam: Uh, well, you know, I don't... I don't know why they think I have a problem. You know, so I have a healthy sex drive. Big deal. I mean, what's... What's the big deal about that, huh? I mean, uh, you know, granted it's a big part of my life. You know, when I'm not having sex, I'm- I'm thinking about it. I- I don't want you to think that I'm, uh, you know, that I'm, uh, [clears throat] you know, that I'm shallow, 'cause I have other interests, too. You know, like, like, like my hair. The, uh... The babes really love my hair. Yeah, I don't know what the big deal is. You know, when I was growing up, it was a sign of- of manhood how many women you shagged. I guess I just, uh, missed the announcement when they changed the rule. So, I just kept on doing it. I- I suppose if I'm really honest, that I... I'm not that happy anymore. Um, I suppose I'm... I'm, you know, beginning to realize that, uh, all that skirt chasing kept me from experiencing some of the good things in life. Some of the important things. Phew. Uh, maybe, uh... Maybe I'm not here for my friends. M-Maybe I am here for myself. [applause]
Dr. Sutton: Thank you, Sam. I know that was difficult for you, but we're glad you're here.

Don: Yo, someone call for a beer tap repair?
Sam: Yeah.
Norm: About an hour ago!
Sam: Hey, hey, Norm-
Norm: Where in the hell have you been?
Sam: Hey, hey, sit!

Woody: Oh, hey, look who's back from vacation. Miss Howe!
Frasier: Hi, Rebecca. How was your cruise?
Rebecca: Well, I can honestly say that it was the most painful, excruciating, depressing experience of my life. There was not one single eligible bachelor on that whole trip. You know what? The very first day I stepped on a poison blowfish, my leg swelled up like a bloated corpse.
Cliff: A bloated corpse without unsightly stubble I hope.
Rebecca: Oh shut up, Cliff.

Rebecca: You know, the problem is that I'm always looking for some, for some rich, powerful man, but not anymore. Now I want a sweet, honest guy... [passes by Don] Excuse me. You know, a nice, hard-working, decent kind of fellow, with a great smile. [tries to pass Don again] Excuse me. But I mean, where are you gonna find a guy like that? It's not like they just pop up out of thin air.
Don: Hey, lady, your problem's solved.
Rebecca: Good. Bill me. I'm talking to my friends here.

Norm: Thank you so much, Don. If only we lived in a culture where men could kiss other men without shame.