Frasier: Well, I'm off. Fore!
Norm: Oh, you get those clubs yet, Fras?
Frasier: No, but it's just a matter of time. See, I placed brochures strategically about the house for Lilith to notice. One nestled under her pillow. One by the wine rack.
Carla: One next to the whip locker.

Cliff: Hey, Sammy, is Woody out with Joyce again today?
Sam: Yeah. That makes every day this week. They are so cute together. You know where he's taking her now? They're going out for ice cream, and then they're going roller skating.
Cliff: Oh, those kiddleys, huh? Well, doesn't that just remind you of your youth?
Sam: Not one damn bit. That's why I feel good about it.

Sam: Listen, listen, you guys, listen, listen. l, I was in your shoes once. I mean, I was young. l- l, I had a whirlwind romance and I got married and it turned out to be a disaster. I don't want this to happen to you now. I mean, look at, look at Diane and me. We waited five years to get married, and if it were up to me, we'd wait another five. I'm just trying to make a point. Do you mind? The point is... The point is that you got to, you got to, you got to get to know each other better if you're going to take a big step like this. You got to get past this, this early infatuation and get to the point where you're sick and tired of each other. Then you're ready for marriage.
Woody: Sam, we're never going to be sick of each other.

Sam: You know, there, there are hundreds of good, solid reasons why you two should not get married.
Joyce: Like?
Sam: Like like I forbid you to, young lady.
Joyce: Wait, you can't forbid me. You're not my father. [chuckles]
Sam: All right, all right. Woody, I forbid you to marry Joyce.
Woody: Sam, you're only my boss.
Sam: Damn it, l, I'm going to forbid somebody something, I'll tell you. [Norm heads to the bathroom] Norm, I- I forbid you to leave that stool.
Norm: Sorry, Sam, uh, nature calls.
Sam: Hey, hey, you, whoa, whoa. You go and you're cut off.
Norm: Whatever you say, Pop.

Sam: Let's get down to brass tacks here. How much do you want? Okay, I'm not a, you know, I'm not a rich guy, but I'm comfortable, so let's stop jerking old Sammy around, and name your price. Come on.
Joyce: We don't want anything. We just want to be together.
Sam: Oh, no, don't do Just get into my office, will you? Come on, both of you. I've tried to talk to you on an emotional level, a logical level and in an economic level. Now we're just going to have to raise this whole discussion up to a higher plane.
[in Sam's office:]
Sam: Have pity on me. Oh, please don't do this to me, please. I- I haven't had an easy life. This is going to hurt me, and I- I don't want to be hurt. I mean, I- I don't like pain. And think about your parents. They hate pain, too. Not, not as much as me, but pretty much. Oh, come on, this news'll kill them, you guys. It'll kill me, too. I- I... Please don't. Please, come on, don't do this to me! Don't make me beg.
Woody: Oh Gee, Sam, you feel pretty strongly about this?

Sam: Oh, come, come on, come on. We're not even married yet.
Diane: Oh, Sam. It's never too early to start thinking about names for our children.
Sam: It- It is if you're thinking about the name Emile.
Diane: What's wrong with Emile?
Sam: Emile is something you eat. It's not something you name your kid. Why- Why don't you just name him Socrates, after me?

Joyce: I decided I'm not going to college.
Diane: Not not going to college? No. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no. Oh, you must listen to me. You... You have your whole life ahead of you. You can't throw it away like this. If you don't go to college, you can't earn a living. And, and without a job, what will you do when he leaves you with a litter of kids... And, and you have to sell them, one after another, just to put food on your pathetic little table? And, in the end, you'll be left with nothing. Nothing but worn-out hips and sagging breasts. Is that really what you want?
Woody: Well, I can't speak for Joyce, but I could do without that.
Diane: So, tell me that you'll give up this insane idea of shacking up together and concentrate on your college career.

Sam: Hey, so there you are. What kind of ice cream did you get?
Woody: Tutti-frutti.
Sam: Ha-ha! Tutti-frutti. Did you hear that? Yeah, you better be careful 'cause that can lead to the hard stuff, double chocolate.

Diane: Well, I'm off, Sam. Sixth row center for the Royal Shakespeare Company. I still have the extra ticket if you happened to have changed your mind.
Sam: I- I just don't like that stuff. All those guys jumping around stabbing each other in their leotards. I- I'm sorry.
Diane: Come on. I don't want to go alone.
Sam: I- I know. I know.
Carla: Did I hear right? You're leaving early?
Diane: I'm going to a play.
Carla: Fine. I'll just stay here, work my butt to the bone, while the boss's fiance takes another day off.
Sam: Hey, come on. We're not that busy around here. What're you doing? As a matter of fact, why don't why don't you go to the play with Diane?
Diane: Ha. How about it, Carla? We rarely do things together.
Carla: We never do things together.
Diane: It'll be fun. It'll broaden your horizons.
Carla: You- What're you saying? l- l'm going to get the afternoon off if I go to the play with Bleachbag?
Sam: Only if you go to the play with Bleachbag.
Carla: It's a deal.
Diane: [laughs] I'm so excited. I've been waiting months for this production to arrive.
Carla: Sounds good.
Diane: Bye-bye.
Sam: Bye-bye.
Carla: I'll bring the pork rinds, you bring the beer. We'll make spit wads out of the programs.
Diane: [hands her ticket to Al] Take this. Follow her. Enjoy.
Al: Hey, honey, wait up.

Cliff: So, uh eh, Doc, I didn't know you were a fellow linkster. You know, uh, someday, when you feel you're good enough, I'll, uh, take you down to my private country club for a little, uh, mano a mano. Eh, Normie, remember I took you down?
Norm: I had a great time. I got, uh, three holes in one, and I birdied the windmill.