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The Crane Mutiny

‘The Crane Mutiny’

Season 6, Episode 5 - Aired October 29, 1987

Norm and Cliff trick Frasier into thinking that Rebecca is infatuated with him.

Quote from Sam

Rebecca: I saw that little wink, Mr. Malone, and I don't appreciate it. I'm tired of you undermining my authority. Now I want delivery men to deal with me and me only. Is that clear?
Sam: You certainly put me in my place. Speaking of my place, why don't you grab your negligee and join me?
Rebecca: As disgusting as that offer is [Sam chuckles] I think I'll have to decline. And I'm taking your picture down.
Sam: Whoa, whoa, wait a sec. You don't understand. I mean, it's a tradition around here. It's always hung there.
Rebecca: Mr. Malone, I'm afraid things are different now. This isn't your bar anymore.
Sam: [nasally] Things are different now. This isn't your bar.
Rebecca: Don't do that. I hate that.
Sam: [nasally] What? I just, uh, bit my tongue, that's all.
Carla: [nasally] Way to go, Sammy.


Quote from Carla

Frasier: Well, doesn't anybody care to know what I am concerned about? [Norm and Cliff look at each other] No.
Carla: Well, Fras, you know normally, I wouldn't give a rat's tokus about anything that happened to you, but the last guy I waited on threw up on my leg. Now, this couldn't be any worse, right? Shoot.
Frasier: It's my love life.
Carla: I'm gonna go find the guy that threw up on my leg.

Quote from Sam

Sam: What's up, Frasier?
Frasier: Well, Sam, this morning, Lilith and I had the worst fight we've ever had. And I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but I- I even considered striking her. I mean, it wasn't completely without provocation. She did throw a chair at me. Just it's the same argument we've had all the time lately. It- Only this time, she- she issued an ultimatum. She- She said we ought to get married, or we're through. Well, Frasier Crane does not cotton to emotional blackmail.
Sam: Frasier, propose to her. Get it over with. The truth is, she's got her hook in you.
Frasier: Well, Sam, I'm not a fish. I'm a man.
Sam: There is a difference. I know that. A fish would stand a chance. Trust me, propose.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: I couldn't, uh, help but overhear what you were talking about there, Fras.
Norm: Yeah. [clears throat] We tried like hell, but, uh, we heard it anyway.
Frasier: Well, it's not that I don't care for Lilith. It- It's just that I fear I- I tied myself to her because, well, you know, I haven't been all that successful with women.
Cliff: Ah.
Frasier: For some reason, I don't think they find me sexy.
Tim: Get out!
Alan: Come on!
Cliff: Uh, you know, Fras, I wouldn't kick you out of bed for eating crackers.

Quote from Carla

Sam: "Your hostess, Rebecca Howe." What is this supposed to be?
Rebecca: Something to identify me to people who might have questions, comments or suggestions. I saw one in a supermarket and thought it was a good idea.
Carla: I've seen headcheese in the supermarket, too, but I don't frame it. I guess what I'm saying is, I love it.

Quote from Sam

Rebecca: I want this nonsense with my picture to stop. I did you a favor by hiring you back, and this is not a very nice way to repay me.
Sam: You're right. You did do me a favor, and now I'm going to do you one. I'm going to give you a tip on how to deal with people who work for you. Lighten up a little bit. I mean, you got to make some compromises.
Rebecca: I see. You want me to hang your picture back up.
Sam: Right.
Rebecca: Done.

Quote from Rebecca

Rebecca: Mr. Malone, are you developing a tic?
Sam: That was a wink.
Rebecca: Then you're developing into a tick. And stop looking at my rear end.
Sam: Lucky guess.

Quote from Woody

Woody: Are you sure this is okay with Miss Howe?
Carla: Woody, she loves this kind of stuff. [Rebecca comes out of her office] I mean, this is good, wholesome humor. In fact, I bet she gives you a raise for doing such a good job.
Rebecca: Oh, don't stop. I already saw it. And I must admit, I haven't laughed so hard since junior high.
Woody: I helped.

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