‘The Book of Samuel’
Season 5, Episode 11 - Aired December 11, 1986
When Woody's ex-girlfriend Beth visits Boston with her fiance, Woody takes a page from Sam's book to show he's not alone.
Quote from Woody
Woody: Why did Miss Chambers have to shoot my big mouth off for me?
Quote from Diane
Diane: Wait a minute. Do you really think it's proper to be rifling through a man's personal papers? No matter how close a friend, no matter how...
Woody: Miss Chambers, you're in here.
Diane: Give me that. "Diane Chambers. "Probably the most incredible woman I ever met. Don't you agree, Diane?" Well...
Quote from Frasier
Diane: Woody, something tells me you shouldn't do this. Please reconsider.
Frasier: Oh, that's easy for you to say. You got him into this. Why don't you do something extraordinary for once and butt out?
Quote from Cliff
Cliff: Hey, hubba-hubba!
Woody: How do I look? Is my tie crooked?
Cliff: Uh, no, but your pants are on backwards. [Woody looks down] Made ya look. Made ya look.
Woody: That's very funny, Mr. Clavin, but I guess I'm not in the mood for that clever humor.
Norm: Yeah, you and the rest of creation.
Quote from Woody
Desiree: Shall we get started?
Woody: What? Right, right here?
Desiree: Here or in the back if you prefer.
Woody: Well, don't you want any dinner first?
Desiree: No, I'd like to get right to it. I'll stop to eat when I get a little tired.
Woody: Wow.
Desiree: I figure you probably have your own equipment. If not, I have mine out in the car.
Woody: What sort of equipment?
Desiree: Well, the first thing we'll need is a bucket.
Woody: Really?
Desiree: Yeah, and some rubber gloves and one of those really hard brushes with a long handle.
Woody: You've gotta be kiddin' me.
Desiree: Well, I need something to get to those hard-to-reach places.
Woody: Would you excuse me for a moment, please? Guys, I think there's things about Sam that we don't know.
Quote from Woody
Woody: Yeah, they're gonna be joining us for dinner tonight.
Desiree: Dinner? You wanna take me out to dinner?
Woody: Yeah. So what do you say?
Desiree: Well, it beats scrubbin' grout with a toothbrush.
Leonard: [laughs] You folks and your big-city expressions.
Woody: Yes, I thought we'd eat at Melville's, if that's okay with you, ma'am.
Desiree: Okay.
Beth: I was expecting someone a little younger, Woody.
Woody: Me, too.
Quote from Woody
Woody: That was fun. Nice seein' ya. Listen, have a nice marriage.
Beth: Well, didn't somebody mention dancing? We still have time before our plane leaves.
Desiree: Now you want to take me dancing?
Leonard: It sure beats scrubbin' grout with a toothbrush.
Desiree: Hey, I could live here. Let me go freshen up. Oh, dancing. I hope my knees hold out.
Woody: Is it any wonder I love her?
Quote from Woody
Woody: Uh, listen, Beth. Desiree's not my girlfriend.
Beth: Well, I had a feeling.
Woody: What gave it away?
Beth: When she forgot your name during dinner.
Quote from Carla
Leonard: Well, good-bye. You guys ever find yourselves in Indiana, you know what to do.
Carla: Yeah, run screamin' to the airport.