Sam: Oh, watch this. Say, Rebecca. Oh, excuse me for a minute. Caroline, are you all right? You look kind of depressed.
Caroline: [sighs] Oh, Sam, it's the same old thing.
Sam: What?
Caroline: I'm so in love with my boss, and I just can't get him to notice me.
Sam: Well, have you tried kissing him like this? [kisses Caroline]
Caroline: Oh, my God. That was... That was... Oh, thank heaven you showed it to me. There's no way anyone could possibly describe it. If I kiss him like that, he's bound to fall in love with me. Bye, Sam.
Sam: Bye-bye. You two have a great honeymoon. [quietly] Thank you so much.
Caroline: Anything to get my disc player back. [exits]
Sam: Hey, hey, hey... By the way, Rebecca, how are things between you and your boss? Anything, uh, I can do? These lips remind you of anything?
Rebecca: Yeah, I think the liver in my freezer's gone bad.

Rebecca: Sam, I know what you and Woody are up to.
Sam: I- I don't know what you're talking about.
Rebecca: I want you to win.
Sam: What?
Rebecca: I want you to win.
Sam: All right! [laughs] And they said that I was losing it. Okay, so, uh, let's get on with the dirty deed here.
Rebecca: No, no, no, we have to make this look really natural. Otherwise they'll think the kiss is a setup.
Sam: Kiss? Oh, sweetheart, no, no. Someone mislead you there. Uh, we're supposed to sleep together.

Rebecca: You're trying my patience.
Sam: All right, all right; a kiss, a kiss, okay. Uh so, uh, how do you want to do this?
Rebecca: All right, here's the plan. You go home and change. And I'll tell the others I'm really beat and I have to go in and take a nap in my office. And you come back and wake me, and I'll act like I'm having this really erotic dream, and give you this long, passionate kiss.
Sam: Oh, God, I love this. I love this. Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. Uh, Carla's supposed to witness this.
Rebecca: Okay, bring her along. Oh, and then I'll spit and rinse my mouth out to make it look really legit.
Sam: Nice touch, nice touch.
Sam: [to Woody] Yeah, so long there. Oh, wait a minute. What do you got on your lips there? Oh, no one.
Rebecca: [to Woody] Can I talk to you a minute? Listen, I know what you and Sam are up to, and I want you to win.

Carla: Call me a romantic, but I always knew you two would end up together.
Woody: I can't believe I kissed you.
Sam: Yeah, well, you're lucky I didn't punch your lights out, man.
Woody: Yeah? You and what army?
Norm: Hey, hey, hey, guys. Come on, now. Relax. Geez, you guys, you were tricked. It's no big deal. I mean, you're such good friends. You mean a lot to each other. I mean, don't walk away mad. Go on, kiss and make up. Remember, you both owe me a big wet one.

Woody: Ah, I couldn't stay mad at you, Sam. You're just like a brother to me.
Sam: Yeah, and if anyone ever does knock off the king around here, I guess I hope it's you, man.
Woody: No hard feelings?
Sam: No hard feelings.
Woody: Listen, Sam, now that everything's okay, can I ask you something, guy to guy?
Sam: Yeah, sure.
Woody: How was l?
Sam: Don't- Don't do that.
Woody: No, I mean it's a question you can't ask a girl. I mean, is there anything I need to work on?
Sam: No, see, I- I don't want to talk about this, Woody.
Woody: I was nervous, so I might have been a little dry.
Sam: Oh, for God's! Yech!
Woody: No, I'm serious, Sam. Hey, do you want to know how you were?