Sam: [answers phone] Cheers. Oh, hello, Mr. Colcord. This is a bad connection. Where are you calling from? Hold on a second. It's Richie Rich calling from his airplane. She's not here right now. Can I take a message? Aw, she'll be sorry to hear that. Yeah, I'll be sure to tell her. You flying that plane all by yourself? Really? Watch out for that telephone pole! [laughs] No, I know there are no telephone poles 40,000 feet up. That's what makes it funny. [hangs up] 200 million bucks. Buy yourself a sense of humor.

Frasier: Oh, damn. Shoot!
Woody: That'll be $1,300 and your "Get out of Jail Free" card. Enjoy your stay at Boyd's on Boardwalk.
Norm: Wait, Woody, I just realized something. Every time anybody deposited any money in the bank, you put it with your own.
Woody: Prove it, Peterson.
Frasier: I don't believe it. I have sat here for the last five hours watching each of you lie, steal and cheat his way to a small fortune while I sit here with $5.00, St. James Place, and this stupid picture of Uncle Wiggly. You people have no scruples or moral standards whatsoever! I mean, what was the purpose of this game after all, anyway?
Norm: Just trying to teach Woody the nature of economics.
Frasier: Oh, well, then, bravo.

Rebecca: So, like what did you and your brother talk about?
Sam: Oh, you know, the usual things. Comic books, movies, records, all the babes we were gonna score with once we got our own room. Did you ever share a room with your sister?
Rebecca: Yeah, but I'll tell you one thing, we didn't talk about stupid stuff like you and your brother talked about.
Sam: All right, what did you talk about?
Rebecca: Dreams, aspirations, the meaning of life.
Sam: In other words, boys.
Rebecca: You betcha.

Carla: Got to get some more pretzels for the bar.
Rebecca: I don't know if my phone is working right or not. Have I had any calls?
Carla: Yeah, Robin called.
Rebecca: He did?
Carla: Yeah, about three weeks ago. Don't you remember?
Rebecca: Carla, do you think Robin's losing interest in me?
Carla: No, but I am.

Carla: You're getting dull on me again.
Rebecca: I've just been so darn dull for so darn long. Wait a minute. Whoa! What do you think about this? You're going to like this one. He comes in tonight, I sneak into his apartment, I put on some nice soft music, I chill some champagne, he walks through the door, and I greet him.
Carla: Whoa-ho. What an idea. Way to go, Rebecca!
Rebecca: Thank you.
Carla: [sings] Dull de dull, dull dull...

Rebecca: Carla. Everything's all set up.
Carla: You're going to LaGuardia Airport? Great! Use carousel "D." It's the bumpiest.

Rebecca: No, Carla, look. I was talking to Robin's valet Jonathan. He kind of likes me. Anyway, he said that he was gonna chill some champagne and he would open the door for me, so I could get in Robin's apartment. And then he'll disappear, and I will greet Mr. Colcord at the door wearing nothing but a skirt, a shirt, my underwear, and a smile. All right, all right, I'll get naked!
Carla: Now you're getting the hang of it.
Rebecca: Thank you, Carla. Thank you so much.

Sam: Where is Rebecca, anyway?
Carla: She's waiting for Robin at his apartment.
Sam: Oh. Well, I guess I ought to call her and tell her he's going to be about three hours late.
Carla: Yeah. She said she wanted to... Surprise him by waiting there for him buck naked.
[Sam puts the phone down, dives over the bar and runs out]

Rebecca: [o.s.] Robin? Uh-huh. I'm on the couch in the den. Hang a Louie at my undies.
Sam: I'm so glad I came.
Rebecca: [o.s.] Hey, I've had half a bottle of champagne. Now I'm standing in front of the TV, naked.
Sam: What are you watching?
Rebecca: [o.s.] [screams] Don't look at me! Quick! Throw me something!
Sam: Okey-dokey.
Rebecca: [o.s.] No! Throw me something to wear!
Sam: Let's see here. Here we go.
Rebecca: [o.s.] Give it to me. Give it to me! Give me that! God, Sam, what are you doing here? You saw me standing in front of the TV naked!
Sam: I just came to give you a message. Robin said he's going to be a few hours late.
Rebecca: Get out of here. Get out of here right now.
Sam: Damn, a Kodak moment, and me without my camera.

Sam: What is with people nowadays? When I was a kid, we used to keep our doors unlocked all the time. Used to get ripped off a lot, but at least we could get out of the damn house.