‘Take Me Out of the Ball Game’
Season 10, Episode 21 - Aired March 26, 1992
When an old teammate announces he's trying out for the Red Sox again, Sam tries his hand at baseball again. Meanwhile, Frasier looks after Lilith's lab rat.
Quote from Frasier
Lilith: Frasier, for the last time, are you going to accompany me and Frederick to my great-uncle's birthday celebration or not?
Frasier: Lilith, the man is going to be 98. He won't know whether I'm there or not. You could introduce him to a chair. You'd get the same dim flicker of recognition.
Lilith: Frasier, that is unkind. My uncle has all his faculties intact.
Frasier: Yes. Which explains why whenever he sees me he calls me "Colonel" and breaks into a rousing chorus of "Over There."
Quote from Sam
Mitch Ganzell: I'm serious. Heck, I'm not that old. To be honest with you, I really miss the game. Anyway, tryouts are tomorrow. I'm goin' for it. What do you think, Sam? Am I really crazy?
Sam: No! You're not crazy. You kiddin' me? You're fantastic. If anyone can make a comeback, it's you. You were the best. Excuse me a second. Carla, uh get Mitch a drink on the house. Better make it a big glass of reality.
Quote from Cliff
Frasier: Well, Whiskers, this is Cheers. Cheers, this is Whiskers.
Cliff: So, uh, Doc living the old carefree bachelor life, huh? [laughs] Yeah. Yeah, I betcha with your wife away, if you wanted to, you could, uh do a little, uh swinging, eh?
Frasier: Yes. There's nothing young women find more attractive than a middle-aged man with a rat in a cage.
Cliff: I hear you, Doc.
Quote from Woody
Woody: Hello, Miss Howe. You know, with, uh, Sam on the road playing pro ball, I guess it's between you and me as to who gets to run the bar. Of course, the only experience I have is that I've been the assistant bartender here for the past six years.
Rebecca: Well, I will let my record speak for itself.
Woody: Yes!
Quote from Frasier
Mitch Ganzell: Oh, my arm, my arm! My arm! My arm!
Frasier: Relax, I'm a doctor. Just remain still. Try not to move. Now tell me exactly what happened.
Mitch Ganzell: I saw a rat and I fell down the stairs.
Frasier: A rat?! Where?! Whiskers! Whiskers!
Quote from Cliff
Norm: Listen, uh, do me a favor, will you? Will you, uh, press one of those levers there and see what happens, will ya?
Paul: It isn't some kind of trick or something, is it?
Cliff: Oh!
Norm: What?
Paul: Hey, I got a peanut. Thanks, guys.
Cliff: Which, uh, lever did he press?
Norm: I thought you were watching.
Cliff: Aw, it's probably... Ah!
Quote from Carla
Sam: That's my friend Carla Tortelli. My roommate Slim.
Slim: Hey. Nice to meet you.
Carla: You, too, Slim.
Slim: Say, by the way, bunch of us are going out for beer and pizza, you know, get a little wild, do a little partying? You interested?
Carla: Oh, thanks, but I'm here to visit my friend Sammy.
Quote from Sam
Carla: Oh, they seem like a fun bunch, huh, Sam?
Sam: Oh, they're the best, yeah. That's... That's baseball. That's what it's all about. And God, I hate it so much. Get me out of here, Carla, please!
Carla: What are you talking about?
Sam: Who am I kidding? I hate this! I mean, they, they throw pillows! They snap their towels! And that's not funny. That's just dangerous. Did you see that one guy pat my butt? I mean, that's not right.
Quote from Sam
Carla: Come on. Hey, Sammy, lighten up!
Sam: Hey, hey, cut it out, will you? This thing's got zippers!
Carla: What is wrong with you?!
Sam: Nothing's wrong with me, Carla. I'm fine. It's just... I don't think I like baseball anymore. You know, it's a, it's a kids' game now. And I'm not a kid anymore. You know, I thought it was gonna be like old times. You know, that's the problem. It, it was exactly like old times. You know, I've done all this stuff before. It's just not me.