Martin Gallagher: We're ready for you, Miss Chambers.
Diane: Yes, I'm sure you are. And I'm ready for you.
Martin Gallagher: Good. You just stand over here.
Diane: Aren't you going to give me a clever introduction?
Martin Gallagher: Oh, we'll dub that in later.
Diane: Oh, why didn't I think of that?
Martin Gallagher: And roll camera. As soon as you're ready, Miss Chambers, just begin.
Diane: Well, I would like to begin with one of my favorites, and I hope you'll like it too. It's called "Ode to a Cornish Hen." [bawks like a chicken]

Diane: [o.s.] Sam, if you have an ounce of humanity, turn that off. [everyone groans as Sam turns the TV off]
Sam: What did you think you were doing up there?
Diane: I didn't think it was a real show.
Sam: Are you kidding me? I mean, who would make up something that boring?
Diane: Well, I thought you did. I thought it was a joke. I figured that you set it up to get back at me because of my psychology experiment.
Sam: Ah, what a great joke. I wish we had thought of that.
Woody: I can't think of it now.
Diane: I made an absolute ass of myself.
Norm: Oh, come on, Diane. Lighten up. It wasn't that bad. It really wasn't.
Woody: Heck, no. I've known chickens who can't do that as well as you.

Sam: Hey, hey, come on. It's no big deal. Nobody watches that stuff.
Diane: It's not just the show. After I filmed that thing, I felt kind of good thinking that you guys had gone to all that trouble to get back at me like you would with each other. And I was thinking of myself as one of the gang, and now I don't know whether I'm more disappointed at that awful display on television or the fact that you still think of me as an outsider.
Sam: Oh, boy. Uh... I'm sorry if I don't know what to say... Um... Go into my place, lie down. Take as much time as you want. Feel better.
Diane: Thank you, Sam.
[After Diane walks into Sam's office, Carla pulls a rope on the other side of the door. Diane emerges from the office soaking wet]
Diane: I love you guys!