Evan Drake: Sam Malone. Evan Drake.
Sam: How do you do?
Evan Drake: I've been looking forward to meeting you. I was a big fan of yours.
Sam: Oh. Any fan of mine is certainly welcome here, especially one who could fire me like a shot. What can I get you?
Evan Drake: You got some 20-year-old Scotch?
Sam: Uh, no, but we got some pretzels that have been around for a while here. [laughs] How about a Dewar's, huh?
Evan Drake: That'll do it.
Sam: So, Mr. Drake, things are going pretty good at the old bar.
Evan Drake: Well, I'm glad to hear that. We sank a lot of bucks into it.
Sam: Oh, boy, don't talk to me about sinking, man. I lost my boat and...
Evan Drake: Yeah, I heard.

Sam: The next thing I know, there's a guys standing next to me... So there I am in the locker room signing the game ball for this guy, buck naked. I tell you, I'll never forget his name, because it was so unusual. Ueberroth.
Evan Drake: Peter Ueberroth, the Baseball Commissioner?
Sam: Uh, that's where the story kind of falls apart. I'll be right back.

Rebecca: He wants me to have dinner with him. That means he expects something for a good review.
Sam: I'll get the petty cash.
Rebecca: Sam. He wants me to compromise myself.
Sam: Honey, we all do.
Rebecca: Why do I even talk to you? I'm not going to make a big deal of this. It's just going to be another business dinner. That's all. Everything will be fine.
Sam: Listen to me. Listen. If, uh, one thing should lead to another tonight and you wake up in the morning and find out you done something you wish you hadn't, I just want you to know, I'd love to take you out tomorrow night.

Mr. Gaines: Sam, you didn't invest any money with Conrad and the guys, did you?
Sam: I sure did... a bundle.
Mr. Gaines: Oh-ho-ho-ho, Sam.
Sam: What?
Mr. Gaines: Maybe you should think about taking some food home.
Sam: Why?
Conrad: Sam, we just found out the company falsified their profits. The S.E.C. suspended trading. Stock's worthless.
Sam: What?
Conrad: Sam, Connie and the guys are known as "the hard luck five."
Conrad: Yeah, we invest in something, down it goes. Say, fellas, what say we fly to Vegas and lose some serious money, huh? We'll bet red all night. [Mr. Gaines chuckles]
Sam: You going to finish that?
Mr. Gaines: No. [Sam takes his slice of cake]

Sam: You be careful when you pick roommates now. Being an old ballplayer, I'm kind of an expert on the subject. The guys out there who just want to stay up all night, play loud music, bring girls in at all hours... Now these are the fun guys. These are the guys you want.

Sam: Carla, honey, I don't think Rebecca wants to talk about this right now. I mean, after all, her guy's in jail. I mean, she's lonely, she's hurting. She's a woman in need. She misses her man.
Rebecca: [sighs] I do, Sam. I do.
Sam: Say, hon... I just want to say that I know what you're going through right now, and if there's anything I can do for you, or to you I'm here for you. Or there for you or on the floor for you.
Rebecca: Gee, Sam. When you put it like that, you make me sick.
Sam: Well, you think about it, though. I mean, 'cause you're thinking about it right now. I bet if I took an X-ray of your brain, I'd be lying, right stretched out all naked.
Rebecca: Don't leave out the tag on your toe.
Sam: Would that tag happen to say: "For a good time, follow this leg?" [laughing] Whee! I sure know how to make my own fun, don't l?

Sam: Do you want to watch a little TV? [pants slightly] You know something? That's a good idea. Uncle Sam is a little tired here. Whoo! Good idea, good idea. I don't know how to do this one. Do you know how to- I have a different one at home there. [Sam hands the remote to Frederick] Oh, far out. Thanks. That's great. Oh, great, this is The Flintstones. This is the one where Barney gets stuck in the mailbox. I actually haven't seen this one all the way to the end.

Tom: Sam, did you read my book last night?
Sam: No, I didn't get a chance. I'm sorry.
Tom: I really wish you had.
Sam: Did you put in that flight to Kansas City when we jumped in the garment bag with two stewardesses?
Tom: Yeah, that's there, but-
Sam: Well, then I'll die happy, I'm fine. Listen, let's get you famous here, all right?

Sam: C'mon, Harry. You got anything? You got any ideas?
Harry: Well, I think you need a poker game. The Mole is not known for poker. Coach, why don't you call him and tell him you have a little game going here at closing. Now, that makes you the roper. You bring him into the game.
Sam: Ooh. How do we know that he brings enough money to cover Coach's losses?
Harry: Oh, don't worry about that. The guys always carry a big roll. They gotta be ready for action. You have to promote this as a friendly neighborhood game. You're the inside man.
Sam: I'm with you so far.
Harry: Now, I'm gonna need a bankroll.
Sam: You just lost me, Harry.
Harry: Sam, if you don't stake me, it doesn't go down. I need about five grand.
Sam: Five grand? Are you kidding me? This whole thing's getting out of hand.
Coach: Sam, please. Please, Sam.
Sam: All right. I'll be the... What d'you call the guy who brings the money?
Harry: You call him the guy who brings the money. One other thing, Sam. [shakes Sam's hand]
Sam: I appreciate this.
Harry: I appreciate getting bailed out. Besides, I don't like the idea of somebody else plucking my pigeons.

Sam: We got an extra chair in here, Harry, if you wanna sit in.
Harry: Me? Well, I've heard that poker can be a pleasant diversion, if it doesn't get too intense.
George: Aren't you playing, Coach?
Coach: Not me. Not me, George. Gin's my game.
Sam: OK. Minimum buy-in's $500. Let's see some money, gentlemen.