Rebecca: I was living in a women's dorm on campus...
Sam: Mm-hmm.
Rebecca: ...and one night a fire broke out.
Sam: Ah.
Rebecca: Well, I didn't have time to change my clothes, so I had to run out to the parking lot wearing only a teddy; black, but see-through. All of a sudden, I was caught in this fire engine's headlights. I didn't know what to do. I looked all around, and suddenly, I spotted this open convertible. I climbed in, and I slunk down to the backseat. Suddenly, this hulking fireman was standing over me. He was magnificent. I looked in his eyes. I knew what he wanted, and I wanted it, too. I peeled off his black rubber raincoat. He ripped off my teddy. I can still feel the heat on my flesh. But it wasn't the fire, it was us. When it was over, I opened my eyes, and I noticed we weren't alone. Others had watched and not said a word. And that's why I'm known as "Backseat Becky." Satisfied?
[Sam nods and goes into the men's room]
Rebecca: Thanks for the story, Carla. Here's your ten bucks.
Carla: Yeah, the $20 one would have killed him.
Carla: So wait a minute. Wait a minute. Why do they call you "Backseat Becky"?
Rebecca: That will cost you a hundred.
Carla: Hey, you know, you're kind of a pig. Maybe we can be friends.

Rebecca: It was there. I was holding it. It was right in my hands, and now it's gone.
Woody: Well, maybe we can glue it back together and no one will ever know. [looks in the kitchen] Forget that.
Rebecca: Oh!
Sam: Just calm down now. Calm down. It was an accident. I'm sure Mr. Collier will understand.
Rebecca: No, he won't. This isn't the first time I've goofed up at the company. I started out as a junior executive and I'm diligently working my way down to the mailroom with a brief stopover at that Siberia called Cheers. [sobs]
Sam: Shh-shh. Stop it. Just calm down here. Calm down.
Rebecca: I know. I'll just resign now, move back to San Diego, join the Navy, grow old and die.

Rebecca: What does this mean? When did Evan start taking Sam to lunch? When did the two of them become good friends? When did I start talking to myself?

Rebecca: Sam, I will never have Mr. Drake. I will never have any man. I will just dry up, crumble into dust and blow away.
Sam: Oh, come on. That doesn't sound like you. That sounds like some lovesick self-pitying, whiny... No, that's you all right.

Rebecca: I tried not to look, but the rearview mirror was just huge, and I couldn't help it. And then I got so upset, I just wrapped the company limo around a 7-Eleven.
Sam: Well, that is dreadful. Very, very, very sad.
Rebecca: [sighs] And then Evan and his cheap imitation Geisha bimbo whore grabbed a taxi. While I had to stand there and wait for a tow truck. Oh, and then this cop came along, and he asked me to see my chauffeur's license. God, if only I'd had one. Or if only I'd remembered to bring my purse with my own driver's license. Or if only I'd resisted arrest and he just shot me dead.

Rebecca: Woody, Sam's going to be upstairs for a while. When he comes down, give him this message. You tell him that it will be a cold day in hell before I ever share an office with him, or schlep drinks in a two-bit saloon.
Woody: Oh, Miss Howe? By the way, Midtown Mercedes called, and they said you can pick up your car anytime. Oh, and they got the one you wanted. The red one.
Rebecca: The red one?
[Rebecca hangs up her coat, takes the tray from Carla and walks over to a table]
Rebecca: Hi, there. My name's Rebecca. [voice breaking] And it will be my pleasure to serve you.

Norm: Well, this gets you off the hook a little bit, doesn't it?
Rebecca: Don't be so sure. Things don't change. It's just another executive who will take an instant dislike to me, and then make my life hell. Unless he's been reading my reports and sees that I've been treated unfairly and decides to champion me in the firm. Come off it! I'm sure he's already heard the stories, and he's just gonna bring me in there and laugh at me. [opens office door] I need to calm down. I'm beginning to hear buzzing sounds. [enters office then comes back out] What the hell is in this box?
Woody: Those are my bees, Miss Howe.
Rebecca: Enough said.
Woody: Hey, can I keep them in there till then end of the day?
Rebecca: Sure. Anything you want. In my mood, I'll agree to anything.
Sam: Sounds like my cue.

Mr. Sheridan: I'd like to ask you a favor.
Rebecca: I see.
Mr. Sheridan: I'm going to New York on a business trip for a few days, and I'd like you to take care of my dog while I'm away.
Rebecca: Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Sheridan, but I have plans for the entire week, and I could not possibly break them. I hope you understand.
Mr. Sheridan: That's fine. I realize this is short notice. Thanks, anyway. [walks away]
Rebecca: [shakes] My plans could be changed. Please, sir, let let me do this for you.
Mr. Sheridan: Well, if you don't think it would be any trouble. Thank you, Miss Howe.
Rebecca: Oh, no, sir. Thank you for the opportunity of knowing your dog. God, I make myself sick!

Sam: Hey, there, Rebecca. How do you like living with Sheridan's pooch?
Rebecca: Sir Bronwyn the Gallant from Fairhaven Manor, better known as Buster, is fine. l, on the other hand, am a nervous wreck.
Alan: What's the matter, Rebecca?
Rebecca: Well, I knew I was going to have to take care of the dog, but I didn't know it was going to be in a place that was huge and kind of like a mausoleum and is stuck way out in the middle of the moors.
Cliff: There are no moors in Massachusetts.
Rebecca: I think they had them flown in or something.

Mr. Anawalt: So, you've worked here six years and you've been treated like hell. Hmm.
Rebecca: But I've never been happier in my life. And I'd never want anything to change. Thank you for letting me get that off my chest. [heads out] Damn it. I'm doing it. [turns back] Mr. Anawalt, I have something else to say, and this is it. You wouldn't know a good marketing executive if one came up and bit you on the butt. Now I am better and smarter than 50% of the people that work here, and if you can't see that then you are blind or a buffoon. Take your pick. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to Cheers where I am sure all my personal belongings will be waiting for me in a Hefty bag on the street.
Mr. Anawalt: Miss Howe.
Rebecca: What do you want now?
Mr. Anawalt: You have a lot of nerve talking to me like that. This company was built on nerve. Not enough young people have the guts to stand up and say what they're really thinking. I've been looking for that brave child who wouldn't be afraid to say, "The emperor has no clothes."
Rebecca: He's nude, sir. Buck naked.