Sam: [on the phone] What are you doing? Where are you going?
Rebecca: I'm- l'm going home to San Diego, Sam. I want to try and forget Boston. I want to erase the last three years of my life.
Sam: It's been five, Rebecca.
Rebecca: [sobs] Has it been that long?

Rebecca: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute, you guys. Let's not jump to any wild conclusions here. Let's just look at the facts. Now, all we really know is that Robin is using my secret password to break into my corporation's confidential files. And from the date on these, it looks like he's been doing it since... Well, since the day after we first slept together. So all I think we can really conclude from this is that... I am too stupid to live!

Rebecca: Sir, here is your Scotch and soda.
Carla: Rebecca.
Rebecca: It's all right. I have a plan, just watch this. Here you go. N- N- N- N- No. I don't need any money. I want you to take this and just think of it as a gift from me, Rebecca Howe, private citizen and in no way affiliated with this bar.
Man: Thanks.
Rebecca: You see that? That's all we have to do, that's the answer. All we have to do is give everybody free alcohol and not take any money for it, and this bar can stay in business forever!

Rebecca: Well, I don't care if you're famous or not. I don't need a bartender. But you're perfectly welcome to come here as a patron anytime. And I personally guarantee you'll be treated with every courtesy. Unless you're waited on by Miss Tortelli.

Sam: Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, that was easy. Wait, uh... Let's try some more compromises here. Um, I want to sleep with you 25 times, but you don't want to sleep with me at all, am I right?
Rebecca: Right.
Sam: Okay, so what's half of 25?
Rebecca: Your l.Q.?
Sam: Wait, uh... please. Um, I'm a little sensitive about people making fun of my intelligence.
Rebecca: I'm sorry.
Sam: That's all right.
Rebecca: But I wasn't making fun of your intelligence.
Sam: Good.
Rebecca: I was making fun of your lack of intelligence.

Woody: Wait a minute. Let's just stick with this title thing.
Rebecca: No, no, Woody, you said you would settle for a raise. Now, I'm going to hold you to it.
Woody: Oh, no, I blew it! I should have demanded a title. Money gets spent, but titles are forever.
Rebecca: No, Woody, I told you-
Woody: Doggone it, Miss Howe, you're not going to palm some raise off on me. I don't want money. I- I deserve a title.
Rebecca: Woody, I've met some tough negotiators in my life... All right, you deserve it. I'll go to the mat for you. Congratulations. You're the new Senior Bartender.
Woody: Get out! Senior Bartender?! Wait till I tell my folks! To think I came in here asking for a stupid little raise, and now this. I just hope it doesn't go to my head.
Rebecca: Oh, that's what's nice about you, Woody. Nothing ever goes to your head.

Rebecca: Well, everyone, you are looking at a winner.
Carla: You were the best kisser-upper? Gee, what does that trophy look like?
Rebecca: I did not kiss up. I gave an interview. I gave one hell of an interview. I was tough, I was insightful, I was witty. Meryl Streep will play me in the movie.

Rebecca: Wait a minute. Here we have a man who doesn't know how to promote his business. And here we have a woman who knows everything about promotion, but has never really been given a chance. Now, if I can turn a beer-guzzling nobody into a successful businessman, then those guys down there at corporate will see that I can do anything.
Norm: Uh, much as I love your pitch, Rebecca, uh, I'm not comfortable working with friends.
Rebecca: Oh, forget about friends. In the cold light of reason, consider this: Please, please, please, for Becky?
Norm: Nah, nah, I'd rather work by myself.
Rebecca: Okay, fine, Norm, fine. I'll just go back to what I was doing. Going over these delinquent bar accounts. Whoa. Now there's a rather huge one in the "P" section.
Norm: [sighs] Welcome to Team Peterson.

Frasier: Have you told Sam how the fire started?
Rebecca: Oh, yeah, I told him, and, uh, he kissed me, and he hugged me, and he- he told me what a big person I was to tell him.
Frasier: You didn't tell him, did you?
Rebecca: Of course not, you moron!
Frasier: Rebecca, don't you realize that unless you tell him, your guilt will get progressively worse? You'll start to shake. You'll get the cold sweats, insomnia, nervousness. Suddenly one morning, you'll wake up, and you'll be paralyzed from fear and guilt.
Rebecca: I can live with that. It'll just be like every other Monday.

Norm: Going a little bit overboard here, aren't you? After all, it's just a silly little machine.
Rebecca: It's not a silly machine, Norman. It is- It is a metaphor for life. It is. Everybody gets to pull the handle, and sometimes they win, and sometimes they lose. But I always lose. I pull the handle, and I get cherry, lemon, [voice breaking] Bell!
Norm: Rebecca, has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason you always lose is because you think you're going to lose?
Rebecca: Oh, don't give me that crap! I tried that positive thinking stuff, and I knew it wouldn't work, and sure enough, it didn't!