Rebecca: Now, you're probably all saying to yourself, "Hey, Miss Miracle Buff, would the same thing apply to..." Boiling tar?! No way! No. Forget it. Then you get me some oven mitts. He won't even give me any oven mitts. I am making a lousy six bucks an hour. I mean, that will not even cover the skin grafts! I'm not doing this anymore. This is it!
Man: You're not getting paid for this.
Rebecca: Look, buddy, I am carrying a boiling bucket of tar!
Sam: It's okay. It's all right. It's okay.
Rebecca: Oh, Sam, could this all be a bad dream?
Sam: No, honey. This is the auto show.

Rebecca: Ladies and gentlemen, the next Miracle Buff demonstration will commence in ten seconds.
Sam: Oh, my God! Look at that. That's Rebecca. She's working the auto show.
Woody: Oh, wow! She does have a great job. She's Miss Miracle Buff.
Sam: I don't think she'd want us to see her like this. Just keep out of sight.
[As Rebecca hops on the rotating platform, Sam and Woody walk the opposite side behind her back]
Rebecca: Miracle Buff, the amazing discovery that will make your car's finish last a lifetime. For safety reasons, we can't actually simulate a nuclear blast, but we have already shown that acid and fire are no match for Miracle Buff. Unlike human skin.
Woody: Sam, I don't think I can keep up this pace. I'm still dizzy from being knocked in the face from that airbag demonstration. I think I'm going to go over to the RVs and lie down.

Woody: Sammy, what are you going to do about the computer?
Sam: Rebecca's gonna come over here and fix it. I just have to wait until she shows up.
Woody: What about the auto show, Sam? Don't you want to go see the new models?
Sam: Ah, that's all right. I know where they're staying, Woody.

Norm: Uh, Sammy, we're out of pretzels.
Sam: Oh, sorry. Hey, we're out of pretzels.
Norm: I think that's what I meant when I said we were out of pretzels. Sorry I was so cryptic before.
Sam: I don't understand this. We were supposed to get a big shipment today. I mean, l, ordered 20 bags from the distributor. I mean, I even faxed it on Rebecca's stupid fax machine. Oh, well.
Norm: "Oh, well"?! Sammy, there are those of us who need their pretzels.
Sam: What am I supposed to do, go down to the grocery store and buy you some?
Norm: And get some Beer Nuts, too. These are antiques.
Frasier: You know, I have a yen for some Cheese Doodles.
Cliff: Hey, uh, Sammy, while you're out there, will you pick me up some cough syrup? I've got a little tickle.
Sam: All right, fine. I'm gonna do this once, you guys, but you gotta remember, I'm supposed to be the boss around here, not your errand boy.
Carla: Feed my meter.

Sam: Woody, do something with this cement.
Woody: Sure thing, Sam. Listen, while you're out, can you pick up some aggregate, a water trough, a shovel and a wheelbarrow. [to himself] Now, what am I going to build?

Carla: You know, Sammy, you shouldn't have to cut corners like this. If you're having money problems, maybe we can help.
Sam: Come here, you guys. Listen, you, you remember that raise I gave you guys a couple of weeks ago? How much does it really mean to you?
Carla: More than my children's lives.
Sam: Okay, Carla gets to keep her raise.

Woody: In return for this concession, I think the group medical plan should be expanded to include dental. [Carla nods]
Sam: I'm just barely keeping my head above water here. What are you doing to me? You're acting like selfish, greedy leeches.
Carla: Well, why should we work here then, huh?
Sam: Because we're family, honey.

Woody: Hi, Miss Howe.
Rebecca: Oh, Woody, you don't work for me anymore. You don't need to call me "Miss Howe." Just call me Rebecca.
Woody: Oh, hi, Rebecca. [chuckles] "Rebecca," I kind of like that. What do you think, Norm?
Norm: Now, now, Woody. Come on.
Woody: I'm sorry, Mr. Peterson. It's just not me, Miss Howe.

Woody: Sam, you can call me stupid, but I think if Miss Howe was still around here, she could take care of all this technical stuff.
Carla: You're stupid.
Woody: I said Sam could call me stupid, not you.
Sam: I don't know if that's a good idea, Woody.
Woody: I said you could call me stupid, not my idea. Doesn't anybody listen around here?

Rebecca: Well, I'm in public relations now.
Norm: Good for you.
Rebecca: Yeah. I mean, it doesn't mean I'll never see you guys. I can still come in here as a customer. Of course, with work and all, I mean, I can't stay for ten, 12 hours at a stretch like you guys.
Norm: Well, that's okay, you could be in the part-timers club. They sit over there.
Cliff: And when you're ready to commit, you'll let us know.
Norm: Yeah. Like Phil there, he's right on the verge. [Phil waves]