Woody Quote #802
Quote from Woody in Ill-Gotten Gaines
Mr. Gaines: Now, Woody, I know you must be terribly confused, but there's a simple explanation.
Woody: No, no, no, Mr. Gaines. You're gonna sit down, and I'm gonna talk, and you're gonna listen.
Mr. Gaines: All right.
Woody: Now... I'm very disappointed in you.
Mr. Gaines: Ah.
Woody: You should be ashamed of yourself. From now on, things are gonna be different. You're gonna start treating me with respect.
Mr. Gaines: Whatever you want, Woody. What will it take for you to forget everything that's happened? You name it.
Woody: Seriously?
Mr. Gaines: Oh, yes. Whatever you want.
Woody: Wow, that speech really took. Well, uh, for starters, this, uh, power of attorney thing you made me sign.
Mr. Gaines: It's gone, ripped up, never existed.
Woody: All right, and I don't want you to make fun of me in front of my friends anymore.
Mr. Gaines: You've got it.
Woody: Well, what I really want, Mr. Gaines, is just for us to get to know each other better.
Mr. Gaines: Oh, for God sakes, Woody, I didn't commit murder.
Cheers Quotes
‘Ill-Gotten Gaines’ Quotes
Quote from Woody
Mr. Gaines: Oh, it's, uh, nothing important. Just, uh, some silly forms giving me power of attorney over all of your affairs. You see, the Gaines estate is wide and varied. And now that you're married to Kelly, you're part of that estate.
Woody: I'm not sure I understand all this.
Mr. Gaines: Oh, let me put it in Hanover-ese, Woody. You know how a turkey, when, uh, it feeds at the trough, will eat until it dies? Well, these forms give me the right now that you're feeding at the Gaines trough to pull your head away if I think you're gonna choke.
Woody: Well, turkeys don't choke, Mr. Gaines, they explode. Well, the one clue you get is you... You hear this hissing sound just before they blow. Now, you hear a turkey hissing, head for the hills. Turkey shrapnel can kill you.
Quote from Carla
Carla: Well, you guys lucked out. You get to spend you Thanksgiving with the Tortellis. Hide your valuables. Hey kids, park it over there.
Rebecca: Carla, why'd you only bring three of your kids?
Carla: Well, we have this kind of Thanksgiving tradition at our home. You see, at noon I set them out on the curb. Then the various men they've come to know as "Dad" drive by, and who's ever left comes with me.
Quote from Cliff
Cliff: Uh, there must be some mistake here. Uh, you've got me sitting at the kiddie table.
Sam: Um, no, no, uh, no mistake Cliff. Uh, we all decided that you're the only one that we trust being an adult supervisor.
Cliff: Ah, well, that's another bowl of stuffing, then, Sammy. I'll be proud to watch the little tykes. So, kiddies I ever tell you about the first Thanksgiving? Yeah, it took place, uh, between the ancient Egyptians and astronauts from a distant galaxy.