Sam Quote #1582
Quote from Sam in I'm Okay, You're Defective
Sam: The whole idea that I have a problem is just ridiculous.
Carla: Oh, yeah? You've been with thousands of women over the years, right?
Sam: Yeah. Right.
Carla: Well, how many cards do you get on Father's Day?
Sam: Well, you know... that doesn't mean anything.
Carla: Sammy, sooner or later, you're gonna have to face the possibility that, whether you like it or not, you might just possibly have a low sperm count.
Sam: You're fired. Get out of here. Go on, right now. You're fired.
Carla: Don't turn on me. I'm not the one with the problem.
Sam: I do not have a problem! I have just as much firepower as the next guy, I'll tell you. You think I'm afraid to go to that doctor, don't you? Well, watch this. I'm gonna go to that stupid fertility doctor. You know, I bet my fertility just soars right off the map. I'll bet I break their stupid machine. Oh, y- you don't think they use a machine, do you?
Cheers Quotes
‘I'm Okay, You're Defective’ Quotes
Quote from Lilith
[some time in the future:]
Lawyer: I am sorry about the passing of your husband, Lilith. Frasier was a good man, and we will all miss him.
Lilith: Thank you.
Lawyer: Well, I now have the unhappy task of reading your late husband's will.
Frederick: You okay, Mother?
Lilith: Yes. Thank you, Frederick.
Lawyer: "Sam Malone's sperm count is well within normal range."
Lilith: That damn bar.
Quote from Woody
Rebecca: Woody, where's Sam?
Woody: "Woody, where's Norm and Cliff?" "Woody, where's Sam?" Now I know how Mr. Krapence feels. How come no one ever walks in and asks me where I am?
Rebecca: Woody, where are you?
Woody: Don't ask me now. Ask me when I'm not around.
Quote from Frasier
Lilith: Frasier, making out a will is a sensible precaution, and one you've been avoiding for months. We're seeing the lawyer this afternoon, and we have to get these questions answered.
Frasier: Look, darling, I find this entire will discussion troubling. It's not easy to talk about one's mortality. Oh, just the thought of of being apart from you and-and little Frederick... It's well, it's... It's just hard.
Lilith: So, who gets the wok?
Frasier: The wok?! My God, woman, we're talking about death here! My death, your death, the end of everything! Being lowered into the grave in a silk-lined casket!
Lilith: Yes. And?
Frasier: And it's upsetting to mammals like me!