Cliff Quote #440
Quote from Cliff in How to Win Friends and Electrocute People
Cliff: Well, it's good to be back. So who's gonna buy me a beer? [groaning] Come on, it was a joke, you bozo! [groaning] Stop that! [groaning] I said stop that! All right, the experiment's off! [groans three times] You're a quack! [rapid series of groans] [Cliff wrestles the remote away from Dave] Okay! Let's see how you like it, pal.
[rapid series of groans]
Dave: Remember, we still have your deposit on that unit! [exits]
Cliff: So, uh, what were we talking about?
Sam: Cliff, what's going on here?
Cliff: Where?
Sam: Come on, Cliff.
Cliff: Well, it's some harebrained scheme I came up with. I... When you guys didn't visit me in the hospital, I knew it was because I wasn't popular, so l, uh, went down to this aversion therapy place and bribed the guy to give me a shock every time I acted like a jerk. I thought it would make me a different person. I guess it didn't work, huh? I better be going. Uh... I'll see you guys later. You know, as a matter of fact, l, uh guess I won't, huh?
‘How to Win Friends and Electrocute People’ Quotes
Quote from Lilith
Lilith: Sam, can I talk to you for a minute?
Sam: Sure, have a seat.
Lilith: Frasier and I will be covering over 4,500 miles round-trip and I think it's only fair that I share some of the driving. However, I am handicapped by one tiny thing. I've never operated a motorized vehicle before.
Sam: You don't know how to drive?
Lilith: I always meant to learn, but when I was a teenager, I was too busy having fun.
Quote from Woody
Sam: What, what are you, what are you talking about? Well, it took a lot of expensive and complicated tests, Sammy, but they finally found out what that pain was in my abdomen. The experts call it appendicitis. [all chuckling]
Norm: Woo, Cliffie, come on. Now, that's a simple you know, I had it when I was a kid. There's nothing to it.
Woody: I actually liked having my appendix out. My parents told me I could have all the ice cream I wanted.
Sam: No, Woody, I think you're talking about tonsils.
Woody: Well, it was a long time ago, Sam, but I'm pretty sure it was ice cream.
Quote from Woody
Cliff: Boy, oh, boy. How many times have I walked through that door, huh? Yep, good-bye old bar. Take care, old stool.
Norm: Where you going, Cliff?
Cliff: I'm going in for surgery tomorrow. Who knows if I'll ever walk into God's blue sky again. It's all up to the man upstairs.
Woody: Vic, the matre d' at Melville's?
Sam: No, Woody. No, never mind.