Sam Quote #1055
Quote from Sam in Swear to God
Sam: Oh, well, yeah, as long as I'm busted, I guess I might as well tell you the truth here. I- I didn't promise to give up sweets. I promised to give up sex.
Father Barry: Ah... that is a tough one. You know, Sam, the Church does recommend chastity to unmarried people.
Sam: [chuckles] Oh, I'm sorry. You were serious. Uh... How do you do that? I mean, what do you do? How do you not? I mean, a-are there special tricks, or a certain way of sitting, maybe?
Father Barry: Well, yes, but we are strictly forbidden to reveal it.
Sam: You're kidding.
Father Barry: Yes.
Sam: Oh.
Father Barry: You know, Sam, I think you're looking for someone to tell you it's all right to break your vow, but I can't do that. You know, I've found that people who come here looking for answers usually know what the answer is, and I think you do, too.
Sam: Yeah, maybe. Well, thank you.
Cheers Quotes
‘Swear to God’ Quotes
Quote from Cliff
Cliff: Hey, Sam, hey, uh, back from the Denise decathlon, huh? [chuckles] Got a, uh, another gold medal in the "broad" jump?
Sam: You know, you got a big mouth, Clavin.
Cliff: Hey, he happens to be right, you know. Yeah, it's a genetic quirk in the, uh, Clavin family that we all have two extra teeth. Yeah, you see, that's the only way that we can prove that we are the rightful heirs to the Russian throne.
Frasier: Hello in there, Cliff. Tell me what color is the sky in your world?
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Let's address this problem, Sam.
Sam: Well, I don't know anything about submarines.
Frasier: Well, surely you have other interests. Sports, sailing, music?
Sam: Well, yeah, I had a piano lesson once. Actually, I had the piano teacher and it was twice, but I liked it.
Frasier: Well, I'll tell you. If you were to sit down at the piano today and channel your energies into it, you would find all your sexual tensions pouring out through your fingertips.
Sam: Yeah, fingertips. Yeah, right.
Frasier: And best of all, Sam, no matter how badly you perform, a piano never laughs. Never stomps out of the room and refuses to let you play again for three days. Well, I'm off to Lilith.
Quote from Sam
Carla: Well, what's the big deal, you know? You can just do what all the other jerks do. You pay a little money for support, and you get off the hook.
Sam: No, Carla, it means a lot more to me than that. I'm telling you, if this, if this kid is mine, then then I want to see that he's fed, that he's clothed, and that he's educated. You know, I'm- l'm gonna take him to, to Little League games, too. I'm gonna be the best damn father you've ever seen. Please don't let him be mine! Oh! Oh! I tell you, if I get out of this, I swear to God, I am through fooling around forever.
Carla: Sam, don't swear to God.
Sam: No, I mean it, I mean it, if I get out of this, I swear to God, I'll never have sex again.
Carla: You? Never?
Sam: Yeah, not ever. I mean, for the rest... Well, three months, three months.
Carla: Well, I guess the amount of sex you have in three months is what most people have in a lifetime.
Sam: Huh. If they're attractive, I guess.