Norm Quote #520
Quote from Norm in Woody for Hire Meets Norman of the Apes
Norm: Cliff, I finished half your place. I'll be happy to come by and finish the rest of it, okay? I'd appreciate a check. If you've got a problem with that, why don't we work out a payment schedule right now?
Cliff: Look, uh, Norm, money is not a problem. You know that. It's just, uh, well, I'm not a cheap man.
Norm: Oh, a statement I'll wager has never been uttered by anyone but a cheap man.
Cliff: Look, Norm, if I knew you were going to charge me for all this, I would've demanded a better job. Now, I've been letting you slide, buddy.
Norm: If you think the work is so worthless, just finish it yourself, Cliff.
Cliff: Well, uh, not that I couldn't. I mean, it doesn't exactly take a Phi Beta Kappa to stick a brush in a bucket, slap it on a wall, does it? I mean, any monkey can do that, huh?
Norm: Oh, yeah, as opposed to the high level of skill and precision it takes to shove a postcard through a slot.
Cliff: That's enough, enough, okay, enough, Normie. I'm, uh, waiting for an apology.
Norm: Fine. I'll drop it in the mail. That way, you'll never get it.
‘Woody for Hire Meets Norman of the Apes’ Quotes
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Well, l, for one, applaud your desire to shake things up a bit, Cliff. Sometimes I think I'd give anything for a change - no matter how slight - in this deadly, unvarying routine of life.
Woody: What can I get you, Dr. Crane?
Frasier: The usual.
Quote from Carla
Carla: Hello.
Woody: Carla, what are you doing in? You're not due in for another hour.
Carla: I had to get out of my house. It was a zoo. Serafina took the hedge clippers to the shag carpet. Little Lotte unplugged the refrigerator to see if frozen peas melt faster than ice cream. Gino made a volcano for a science project in the microwave. And on top of everything else, me and Eddie had a big fight.
Cliff: Oh, geez, what about?
Carla: He had the nerve to say I don't know how to control my kids. [phone rings] I don't know. We just can't seem to see eye to eye on the right way to discipline 'em.
Woody: Carla, it's for you.
Carla: Oh God. [takes the phone] Hello. I thought we settled this. No, you definitely cannot hit him. No, you cannot lock him in the closet, and you absolutely cannot wash his mouth out with soap. Anne-Marie, you untie your stepfather right now!
Quote from Woody
Sam: What are you doing, there?
Woody: Miss Howe put moi in charge of refreshments for the book club.
Sam: Well, yeah, but what are those?
Woody: Finger sandwiches. You know, the part that takes the most time is getting that middle knuckle right.
Sam: Woody, they don't actually have to look like fingers.
Woody: Yeah, right, Sam.