Cliff Quote #341
Quote from Cliff in Dog Bites Cliff
Madeline Keith: When this first began, I thought I could get you to drop the lawsuit, if I was nice to you. But then, the funniest thing happened. I grew to like you... a lot. But I'll understand if you hate me for what I was going to do. I was playing with your emotions when you've been so honest with me.
Cliff: Uh, well, I- I forgive you, Madeline, uh...
Madeline Keith: No, you're a decent guy, Cliff. Maybe I just better go.
Cliff: No, uh, Madeline, wait. Uh, look, l- l- l Anything you did, it doesn't make a difference to me.
Madeline Keith: You're not just saying that to make me feel better?
Cliff: No, I swear it. Scout's honor.
Madeline Keith: Oh, Cliff, oh! [they hug] Oh! Doesn't it feel good to clear the air?
Cliff: Oh, yeah, it does.
Madeline Keith: Look, why don't we forget about the dinner and rent a room somewhere and just celebrate our socks off?
Cliff: Really? Well, uh well, the, uh, Ritz is just around the corner.
Madeline Keith: Why, Cliff, I think that's a wonderful idea.
Cliff: Carla, would, uh, you be a dear and, uh, cancel dinner reservations for the, uh, Sap party? We're, uh we're going to have, uh, Ritz service at the room. [chuckles] l, uh, I meant Ritz service at the room. Can you believe I said "Ritz service at the room"? What I meant was, uh, Ritz service at the room.
Cheers Quotes
‘Dog Bites Cliff’ Quotes
Quote from Woody
[As Woody goes to answer the phone, he accidentally drops it in a bucket of water on account of his injured arm.]
Woody: [answers phone] Cheers. Yeah, oh, just a minute, please. Mr. Clavin, for you.
Cliff: Uh, take a message. I'll call 'em back, Wood.
Woody: Yeah, can he get back to you? Oh, yes, ma'am. She wants to know how your leg is.
Cliff: Eh? Eh? See? The mutt's owner tracked me down. Well, tell her that she can deep-six that phony concern of hers. It doesn't cut it with me.
Woody: You can deep-six your phony concern. It doesn't cut it with him.
Cliff: Tell her my leg and I will see her in court.
Woody: His leg and him will see you in court. Oh, okay, I'll tell him. [hangs up] Uh, your mom wants you to be home by 6:00 for dinner.
Cliff: Woody, Woody, why didn't you tell me it was my mother?
Woody: I just did.
Cliff: No, I mean before.
Woody: Well, I didn't know it was her till I picked up the phone.
Cliff: No, Woody... When you were talkin' to her, why didn't you say it was her?
Woody: She already knew that.
Sam: Uh, I'd leave it alone, Cliff. I think it's one of those Zen koan things.
Quote from Cliff
Cliff: And, uh, she hung up the phone and said, "Cliff, uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but, uh, my husband's come back."
Norm: Wait a minute now. She's married all this time and never told you?
Cliff: Yeah. Seems that her husband, a true and gallant soldier of these United States, was, uh, lost and presumed dead during some, uh, secret mission out there in the Far East. Oh, as it turns out, he was only wounded, and although he suffered, uh, years of torture. See, uh, uh, somehow, he managed to, uh, dig a tunnel with a pair of chopsticks and make his way to a, uh, pay phone and, uh, give her a call.
Sam: Cliff, this is an unbelievable story.
Cliff: Oh, yeah, Sammy. It's unbelievable to me, and I was there. But, uh, she barely had time to blow me a kiss and wish me a happy life, and, uh then she was gone like a dream in the night.
Carla: What a maroon.
Quote from Woody
Cliff: I guess we were like a pair of lovers that were never meant to be. Like Romeo and Juliet. Rhett, Scarlett. Heathcliff, Kathy.
Woody: Heath, Cliff and Kathy? Isn't that three people, Mr. Clavin?