Carla Quote #173

Quote from Carla in Battle of the Exes

Carla: Look. You always claim you know the answers to everything. Well, I'm calling your bluff. I am going to give you a chance to handle my problem. I give you 30 seconds. If you blow it, I'm sending you back out there and your face stays here.
Diane: Fair enough.
Carla: My ex-husband is getting remarried tonight. Here's the invite.
Diane: How terrible for you. I understand completely. You've never really stopped loving him. I can see this invitation is soaked with your tears.
Carla: That's my spit. I don't love that rat and I never did. Sure, there were little things I loved about him, like the way he flexed his tattoo. The way the hair grew in his ears. The way he drooled in bed.

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 ‘Battle of the Exes’ Quotes

Quote from Coach

Coach: Diane, if you're looking for a place to stay, there's a lovely little inn up in Vermont that my wife and I used to drive to all the time.
Diane: What inn?
Coach: In my station wagon.

Quote from Norm

Norm: Diane, Vera and I once went to this really, romantic, beautiful old place called the Fairview in New Hampshire.
Diane: Oh, yeah?
Norm: Yeah. Really romantic. They don't have any telephones or televisions. They just have these old fireplaces and these romantic old feather beds, antiques I think, so you really have to kind of snuggle up there to your loved one.
Diane: Oh?
Norm: Best part of it for me was that they had this old romantic circular driveway, you know, so I didn't even have to stop. I just rolled through and yelled, "Cancel Peterson."

 Carla Tortelli Quotes

Quote from Cheerio, Cheers

Coach: Carla, what are you looking for? A sign from God? Religious belief is based on faith.
Carla: Yeah, well, I never thought I'd say this, Coach, but I think I've lost faith.
Frasier: Hey, listen up, everybody. I have an announcement to make. Diane here is leaving for Europe and she's not coming back to Cheers ever.
[Carla drops to her knees and prays]
Carla: [sings] I believe for every drop of rain that falls a flower grows. I believe that somewhere in the darkest night a candle glows.

Quote from The Beer Is Always Greener

Norm: Hey, hey, hey, hey, Carla, let me get this straight. You're really not going back to Cheers?
Carla: I know it's a lousy job, Norm, but for the amount of money they're throwing at me, it's nothing I can't take.
Bartender: Carla, uh, I'm gonna put a new trainee with you for the next two weeks. She's a bright girl. She's, uh, an anthropology student at B.U. Ellen! Ellen, come meet Carla.
Ellen: Well, you must be Carla. I know what you're thinking: "She doesn't look like a waitress." That's because I'm really a writer. Or actuellement, a poetess.
Carla: [screams]