Carla Quote #173

Quote from Carla in Battle of the Exes

Carla: Look. You always claim you know the answers to everything. Well, I'm calling your bluff. I am going to give you a chance to handle my problem. I give you 30 seconds. If you blow it, I'm sending you back out there and your face stays here.
Diane: Fair enough.
Carla: My ex-husband is getting remarried tonight. Here's the invite.
Diane: How terrible for you. I understand completely. You've never really stopped loving him. I can see this invitation is soaked with your tears.
Carla: That's my spit. I don't love that rat and I never did. Sure, there were little things I loved about him, like the way he flexed his tattoo. The way the hair grew in his ears. The way he drooled in bed.


 ‘Battle of the Exes’ Quotes

Quote from Coach

Coach: Diane, if you're looking for a place to stay, there's a lovely little inn up in Vermont that my wife and I used to drive to all the time.
Diane: What inn?
Coach: In my station wagon.

Quote from Norm

Norm: Diane, Vera and I once went to this really, romantic, beautiful old place called the Fairview in New Hampshire.
Diane: Oh, yeah?
Norm: Yeah. Really romantic. They don't have any telephones or televisions. They just have these old fireplaces and these romantic old feather beds, antiques I think, so you really have to kind of snuggle up there to your loved one.
Diane: Oh?
Norm: Best part of it for me was that they had this old romantic circular driveway, you know, so I didn't even have to stop. I just rolled through and yelled, "Cancel Peterson."

 Carla Tortelli Quotes

Quote from Cheerio, Cheers

Coach: Carla, what are you looking for? A sign from God? Religious belief is based on faith.
Carla: Yeah, well, I never thought I'd say this, Coach, but I think I've lost faith.
Frasier: Hey, listen up, everybody. I have an announcement to make. Diane here is leaving for Europe and she's not coming back to Cheers ever.
[Carla drops to her knees and prays]
Carla: [sings] I believe for every drop of rain that falls a flower grows. I believe that somewhere in the darkest night a candle glows.

Quote from The Beer Is Always Greener

Norm: Hey, hey, hey, hey, Carla, let me get this straight. You're really not going back to Cheers?
Carla: I know it's a lousy job, Norm, but for the amount of money they're throwing at me, it's nothing I can't take.
Bartender: Carla, uh, I'm gonna put a new trainee with you for the next two weeks. She's a bright girl. She's, uh, an anthropology student at B.U. Ellen! Ellen, come meet Carla.
Ellen: Well, you must be Carla. I know what you're thinking: "She doesn't look like a waitress." That's because I'm really a writer. Or actuellement, a poetess.
Carla: [screams]