Norm: Sammy... California?! Riots, smog, earthquakes?
Cliff: Don't make me laugh, now. There's no earthquakes in California.
Woody: There aren't?
Cliff: No, there's never been any! See, what they tell us are earthquakes are actually sonic booms caused by a project that's been funded by the U.S. government. You see, what they're doing is they're creating a huge cavity - a tunnel, if you will - right to the center of the Earth, where they're gonna build a giant computer to control the planet's rotation. Can I... Can I be the only one that's heard of this?
Frasier: You know, Cliff, electro-shock therapy only sounds scary. Let me bring in a color brochure. It features Babar.
Woody: Uh, can I get one?
Frasier: I'll bring in a boxful!

Sam: One by one, I seem to be losing my, uh thrills and, uh, tingles, you know? I keep asking myself, "What- What is the point to life?"
Woody: Whoo, that's a tough question.
Sam: Yeah.
Cliff: Eh. Well, I got the answer.
Frasier: Somehow, I knew you would.
Cliff: Comfortable shoes.
Frasier: Shoes?
Cliff: Yeah, if you're not wearing comfortable shoes, life is just chaos. I mean, the greatest accomplishments in history have been made by men wearing accommodating shoes. Uh, Frasier, tell me, who do you think is the greatest thinker in all mankind?
Frasier: I don't know, uh, Aristotle.
Cliff: There you go. Sandals. Perhaps the most comfortable shoe there is. You hardly even know you have them on. I mean, Confucius, thongs. Einstein, loose loafers.
Woody: Wow.

Carla: I'll tell you what the point of life is: Having kids. Creating life. Sure, it's disappointing and painful, heartbreaking at times. Sure, they can drive you crazy and make you think you just can't get through another day. Where was I going with this?