Norm Quote #1064
Norm: All right, fine. Fine. I'm on my own. I'll just go over to the hotel and throw myself at her mercy. I'll plead with the woman. I'll beg her. I'll say how wrong it is for her to force me to do this. What the hell, it worked for me on my wedding night.
Quote from Sam
Carla: You know, about this game that's on tonight...
Carla: Do you remember what happened?
Sam: Yeah, I won. [chuckles]
Carla: Hey, Sam, this was in your drinking days. I mean, this is the game where you thought the Orioles' mascot was a huge mutant bird.
Sam: Oh, my God.
Carla: Yeah, remember?
Carla: Yeah, you threw a fastball at him. You hit him right between the eyes and gave him a concussion.
Sam: Well, what would you do if you saw this gigantic bird coming at you? Would you just let it attack you and peck your eyes out?
Quote from Norm
Rebecca: Hey, Norm, what are you doing?
Norm: Just getting prepared. I'm gonna bury this auditor in paperwork. I got phony receipts. I got a postdated diary. I got fake mileage logs, the works.
Rebecca: Why are you meeting the auditor here?
Norm: Old trick, Rebecca: you meet the enemy on your own turf.
Quote from Tan 'n' Wash
Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
Paul: Hey, Norm, how's the world been treatin' ya?
Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.