Cliff Quote #817

Quote from Cliff in Norm's Big Audit

Carla: Hey, Norm, I got an idea.
Norm: What?
Carla: Why don't I just pick up the phone and call Vera and tell her what's going on? Now, listen. She'll run over to the Ritz Carlton and burst into the room before anything can happen. This way, Dot can't get angry at you, and you'll be off the hook.
Norm: Yeah, yeah. Then Dot tells Vera how I came on to her. Either way, I spend the next ten years sleeping on a cot.
Frasier: Well, Norm, you could get, uh, someone to impersonate Vera.
Norm: Well, thanks, Fras, but I doubt that Ed Asner has time to hop on a plane to Boston.

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 ‘Norm's Big Audit’ Quotes

Quote from Paul

Sam: Uh, forgot to tell you, fellas, that, uh, I was working on that TV earlier, trying to get the color just right for the game, and, uh, damnedest thing, it- it blew. It blew as well as the big screen there. Uh, I guess we're just not meant to see this game, huh, fellas?
Paul: It's okay, Sammy. We can, uh, see it on my little Watchman.
Sam: Where did that thing come from, Paul?
Paul: I take it with me everywhere. You know, you can, uh, run it on batteries, or I plug it in the, uh, cigarette lighter in my car.
Frasier: Paul, you watch TV in the car?
Paul: I don't like to miss my stories.

Quote from Sam

Carla: You know, about this game that's on tonight...
Sam: Uh-huh.
Carla: Do you remember what happened?
Sam: Yeah, I won. [chuckles]
Carla: Hey, Sam, this was in your drinking days. I mean, this is the game where you thought the Orioles' mascot was a huge mutant bird.
Sam: Oh, my God.
Carla: Yeah, remember?
Sam: Oh...
Carla: Yeah, you threw a fastball at him. You hit him right between the eyes and gave him a concussion.
Sam: Well, what would you do if you saw this gigantic bird coming at you? Would you just let it attack you and peck your eyes out?

Quote from Norm

Rebecca: Hey, Norm, what are you doing?
Norm: Just getting prepared. I'm gonna bury this auditor in paperwork. I got phony receipts. I got a postdated diary. I got fake mileage logs, the works.
Rebecca: Why are you meeting the auditor here?
Norm: Old trick, Rebecca: you meet the enemy on your own turf.