Cliff Quote #816
Quote from Cliff in Norm's Big Audit
Norm: I'm desperate; I'll try anything. Come on.
Cliff: All right, tell you what, here's the plan.
Norm: Uh-huh.
Cliff: I go to the hotel in your place, right? I reach in, flick off the lights, say "Room service for Dot Carroll." In the meantime, I've got a big bag full of wild squirrels with sparklers attached to their tails. I drop them in the room.
They run around terrified, setting off the alarms and the sprinklers. Okay? In the ensuing hubbub, she forgets all about her little date with you. Trust me. You think a cold shower's a mood killer? Try a bag of wild squirrels.
Norm: Thanks, Cliff, but, uh, you don't have to go to the trouble.
Cliff: That's all right; I already got the squirrels.
Cheers Quotes
‘Norm's Big Audit’ Quotes
Quote from Paul
Sam: Uh, forgot to tell you, fellas, that, uh, I was working on that TV earlier, trying to get the color just right for the game, and, uh, damnedest thing, it- it blew. It blew as well as the big screen there. Uh, I guess we're just not meant to see this game, huh, fellas?
Paul: It's okay, Sammy. We can, uh, see it on my little Watchman.
Sam: Where did that thing come from, Paul?
Paul: I take it with me everywhere. You know, you can, uh, run it on batteries, or I plug it in the, uh, cigarette lighter in my car.
Frasier: Paul, you watch TV in the car?
Paul: I don't like to miss my stories.
Quote from Sam
Carla: You know, about this game that's on tonight...
Sam: Uh-huh.
Carla: Do you remember what happened?
Sam: Yeah, I won. [chuckles]
Carla: Hey, Sam, this was in your drinking days. I mean, this is the game where you thought the Orioles' mascot was a huge mutant bird.
Sam: Oh, my God.
Carla: Yeah, remember?
Sam: Oh...
Carla: Yeah, you threw a fastball at him. You hit him right between the eyes and gave him a concussion.
Sam: Well, what would you do if you saw this gigantic bird coming at you? Would you just let it attack you and peck your eyes out?
Quote from Norm
Rebecca: Hey, Norm, what are you doing?
Norm: Just getting prepared. I'm gonna bury this auditor in paperwork. I got phony receipts. I got a postdated diary. I got fake mileage logs, the works.
Rebecca: Why are you meeting the auditor here?
Norm: Old trick, Rebecca: you meet the enemy on your own turf.