Norm Quote #1056

Quote from Norm in Norm's Big Audit

Norm: [on the phone] Hi, honey. What's the problem? What, an IRS audit? No, it can't be this afternoon. They've got to give you at least three, four notices. This is the fourth notice? All right, all look, don't worry about it. Don't... Listen, as long as you're checking the mail, uh, could you check to see if the, uh, Victoria's Secret catalog came in? It did? Good, good. Just just hold onto it, okay? And for God sakes, don't order anything.

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 ‘Norm's Big Audit’ Quotes

Quote from Sam

Carla: You know, about this game that's on tonight...
Sam: Uh-huh.
Carla: Do you remember what happened?
Sam: Yeah, I won. [chuckles]
Carla: Hey, Sam, this was in your drinking days. I mean, this is the game where you thought the Orioles' mascot was a huge mutant bird.
Sam: Oh, my God.
Carla: Yeah, remember?
Sam: Oh...
Carla: Yeah, you threw a fastball at him. You hit him right between the eyes and gave him a concussion.
Sam: Well, what would you do if you saw this gigantic bird coming at you? Would you just let it attack you and peck your eyes out?

Quote from Norm

Rebecca: Hey, Norm, what are you doing?
Norm: Just getting prepared. I'm gonna bury this auditor in paperwork. I got phony receipts. I got a postdated diary. I got fake mileage logs, the works.
Rebecca: Why are you meeting the auditor here?
Norm: Old trick, Rebecca: you meet the enemy on your own turf.

 Norm Peterson Quotes

Quote from Tan 'n' Wash

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Paul: Hey, Norm, how's the world been treatin' ya?
Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.

Quote from Paint Your Office

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Man: Hey.
Woody: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Let's talk about what's going in Mr. Peterson. Beer, Woody.