Sam Quote #1726

Quote from Sam in Norm's Big Audit

Sam: Yeah, what the hell? That sounds like a nice idea. Say, honey, can you do me a favor? Can you hand me the, uh, baseball almanac under the bar? Uh, I was drinking a lot back in those days, and there's something about 1975 I don't remember.
Rebecca: What's that?
Sam: The summer part.
Sam: l- l- l don't want them seeing a game where I embarrass myself. All right, here we go. July... July 14, '75.
Red Sox versus the Orioles. Red Sox won. Oh, right. I pitched three innings. I must have been okay that day.
Rebecca: Good.
Sam: Yeah. All right, fellas. Yeah, let's have a party here, huh? Finally, you're gonna see why Sammy's so famous. Actually, uh, we don't get the channel that shows why Sammy's so famous.

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 ‘Norm's Big Audit’ Quotes

Quote from Sam

Carla: You know, about this game that's on tonight...
Sam: Uh-huh.
Carla: Do you remember what happened?
Sam: Yeah, I won. [chuckles]
Carla: Hey, Sam, this was in your drinking days. I mean, this is the game where you thought the Orioles' mascot was a huge mutant bird.
Sam: Oh, my God.
Carla: Yeah, remember?
Sam: Oh...
Carla: Yeah, you threw a fastball at him. You hit him right between the eyes and gave him a concussion.
Sam: Well, what would you do if you saw this gigantic bird coming at you? Would you just let it attack you and peck your eyes out?

Quote from Norm

Rebecca: Hey, Norm, what are you doing?
Norm: Just getting prepared. I'm gonna bury this auditor in paperwork. I got phony receipts. I got a postdated diary. I got fake mileage logs, the works.
Rebecca: Why are you meeting the auditor here?
Norm: Old trick, Rebecca: you meet the enemy on your own turf.

 Sam Malone Quotes

Quote from I Will Gladly Pay You Tuesday

Diane: Sam, I know you to be a man of pride and principle, but strength is also to be found in the ability to bend. Witness the willow, nature's strongest tree.
Sam: No, I thought the oak was the strongest tree.
Diane: Only in furniture.
Sam: What about the saying "strong as the mighty oak"?
Diane: The oak can be felled by a single harsh wind under the right circumstances.
Sam: All right, but what about birch and mahogany? Now, those--
Diane: Would you shut up about the damn trees?
Sam: You brought them up.

Quote from The Proposal

Sam: You know, for the longest time, I kept pretending about you. I guess I was afraid to really admit my feelings. But from the very start, down deep inside, I have been crazy about you. Crazier about you than any other woman I've ever met. I mean, hell, I was crazy about you even when I hated you. [Diane laughs] What I'm trying to say is will you marry me?
Diane: No.
Sam: No?
Diane: No.
Sam: Are you serious?
Diane: I'm afraid I am.
Sam: Well... seems to me you have two choices. One, I can throw you in. Or two, you can jump in.