Cliff: Hey, Norm, look at this. I just got myself a brand-new video camera.
Norm: Ooh, nice one. Looks kind of expensive.
Cliff: Oh, yeah, it is, it is, but it- it'll pay for itself in no time at all.
Norm: Yeah?
Cliff: Yeah. Yeah, I plan to stage some footage for those programs, you know, like America's Funniest Home Videos, Rescue 911, Nightline, stuff like that.
Norm: Cliff, I don't think Nightline is staged.
Cliff: You are so naive.

[on answering machine:]
Woody: Hi, this is Cheers. Well, it isn't actually Cheers, it's Woody Boyd. Cheers is actually the bar, and as such, it couldn't be expected to talk.
Sam: Woody, start again.
Woody: Why? I'm doing fine. Anyway, uh, there's no one here to take your call right now. Well, actually, if you called right now, we could take your call, but if you call when you're...
Sam: Woody, would you cut it out? It's sounding stupid.
Woody: I am not. W-W-Why do you always treat me like I don't know what I'm doing?
Sam: It sounds stupid, Woody.
Woody: It does not. [machine beeps]
Woody: Hi, Sam, this is Woody. Uh, I guess you were right. It does sound stupid. I'll change it tomorrow.

Cliff: Hey, whoa, whoa, hey. Whoa, whoa. Excuse me, there, buddy boy. l, uh, couldn't help overhearing that you're looking for a photographer?
Peter: That's right.
Cliff: Well, you are in luck. I'm Clifford Clavin, one of the best camcorder jockeys in all of Boston.
Peter: If you're in the video business, why are you dressed as a mail-man?
Cliff: Costume party down at the Directors Guild.