Frasier Quote #667
Frasier: Boy, I've never felt so low in my life.
Cliff: Well, Doc, if it means anything to ya, I'm here for ya.
Frasier: It doesn't, Cliff, but thanks.
Quote from Lilith
Lilith: Well, I'm off. I don't know what the future holds. Whatever happens, I only hope I can realize my full potential. To acquire things the old Lilith never had.
Carla: Like a body temperature?
Lilith: That's very good, Carla. Incidentally, I've taken your little wisecracks for a few years now, you hideous gargoyle, and if you ever open that gateway to hell you call a mouth in my direction again, I'll snap off your extremities like dead branches and feed them to you at gunpoint. God! That felt good.
Carla: Well... that was just plain rude.
Quote from Lilith
Lilith: I'm going now. I'd like to leave a parting word. I want you to know that what I'm doing is very difficult. It is not to hurt Frasier. It's to acknowledge the fact that I'm changing. No one can go living year in and year out without ever changing. It's impossible. [looks at Norm and Cliff] Or at least it's very rare.
Quote from Woody
Woody: Boy, Dr. Sternin-Crane having an affair with another guy. Mm, this reminds me of a terrible scandal we had back in Hanover. Rocked the whole town to its core. Mayor's wife ran off with old Mr. Smithers.
Frasier: Oh, that's not so scandalous, Woody.
Woody: Well, Mr. Smithers was a goat.
Sam: W-Woody, why... Why don't you take a break?
Woody: Again? Man, this day is flying!
Frasier: You know what the most painful thing about it is? I... I didn't see it coming. Lilith had an affair. I had no idea. Now she's leaving me and... There were no signs. Do you know what I mean, Sam? Sam?
Sam: I'm sorry. I'm still back on Mr. Smithers.
Quote from Veggie-Boyd
Sam: These are, uh, trivia napkins. Ever since I got the bar back, I've been looking for ways to say, "Hey, thank you for patronizing me."
Frasier: Oh, Sam, I- I know you wanted to use a great big word there. I think that's marvelous, but I believe what you meant to say was, "Thank you for your patronage."
Sam: Really? What's the difference?
Frasier: Patronage means customers. Patronizing is the way one would talk to a small, dull child.
Sam: Kind of like how you're talking to me right now?
Frasier: Aren't you cute!
Quote from The Beer Is Always Greener
Lilith: Now, now. You two... Perhaps a page from Frasier's and my personal history will calm the waters. Woody, Kelly. I am Jewish and Frasier is Episcopalian. Now originally, we feared this might cause conflict in our marriage. But then we learned to compromise, even in the raising of our son, Frederick. We make sure he experiences both sides of his religious heritage.
Frasier: As usual, my darling wife is right. Frederick goes to synagogue every Friday night. He delights in hiding matzos at Passover. The family celebrates Hanukkah. Meanwhile, Christmas comes and goes without so much as a tree. Odd, really, because a Christmas tree isn't even symbolic of Christianity. But apparently it threatens Lilith's Jewish faith. Look out, everybody! A fir tree! 5,000-year-old religion and Frasier Crane's going to bring it down with a four-foot tree and some tinsel!
Quote from Rich Man, Wood Man
Sam: What the hell's wrong with him?
Frasier: Well, it's a common phenomenon, really. A young, impressionable lad, such as Woody, gets his first taste of a foreign country, and he comes back a little affected. I mean, give him a few hours, he'll be fine. You know, I remember when I came back from my first trip abroad. Oh, God, I was pompous and unbearable! Condescending to all my old friends. Of course, I wouldn't expect you fellows to understand. It's a complicated matter.