Cliff Quote #716

Quote from Cliff in Rich Man, Wood Man

Cliff: Boy, oh, boy. Woody and Kelly split up, huh?
Frasier: Yes, well, I guess having access to all her money made him feel a little like a leech.
Cliff: You, uh, seem to make the word "leech" sound, uh, pejorative, there, Fras. An educated man would be proud to be called a leech. Leeches are a boon to mankind.
Frasier: I take it you're referring to the practice of using leeches as a medical cure-all, a practice which has been discredited for centuries now.
Cliff: Discredited or covered up?
Frasier: Well, you've got me there.
Cliff: Sure, your big drug companies don't want you to find out about leeches. You know why? Leeches are free. Yes, sir. I- I have great respect for the leech.
Frasier: I'm sure the feeling's mutual.


 ‘Rich Man, Wood Man’ Quotes

Quote from Kelly

Norm: You're gonna have to give up an awful lot of stuff. For example, no more limousines.
Kelly: Oh, that's okay. I can take taxis.
Norm: No, Kelly, I don't think Woody can even afford taxis. You'll have to take the subway.
Kelly: The what?
Norm: The "T". You know, the subway.
Kelly: Come again?
Norm: The subway, the the little trains that run underground, carry people back and forth.
Kelly: Right, an underground train. You're such a joker, Mr. Peterson.
Norm: Kelly, they exist, and, and most people take them to work every day.
Kelly: Sure they do, Mr. Peterson. All right, I'll take your little underground train tomorrow morning. Underground trains! Woo-woo!

Quote from Frasier

Sam: What the hell's wrong with him?
Frasier: Well, it's a common phenomenon, really. A young, impressionable lad, such as Woody, gets his first taste of a foreign country, and he comes back a little affected. I mean, give him a few hours, he'll be fine. You know, I remember when I came back from my first trip abroad. Oh, God, I was pompous and unbearable! Condescending to all my old friends. Of course, I wouldn't expect you fellows to understand. It's a complicated matter.

 Cliff Clavin Quotes

Quote from What Is... Cliff Clavin?

Alex Trebek: Cliff, it's all right, you don't have to worry. Unless you risked more than $21,600, you will be the new Jeopardy! champion. So let's take a look and see what your wager was. You bet "22,000 big ones"? Which takes you down to zero. You bet it all. Cliff, why would you do something like that?
Cliff: It's because I knew that those people had never been in my kitchen. You can ask them. Come on, Tony Curtis is still alive. Get him on the phone, go ahead, I'll pay for the call.
Alex Trebek: Isn't going to work, Cliff, sorry. Agnes, $400 is not a big total, but today it's enough to make you the new Jeopardy! champion. So congratulations.
Cliff: No, she's not! I'm the champion! I answered all those questions! You saw me, America! Write in and tell them!
Norm: Come on, Wood, if we sneak out right now, nobody will know we're with him.
Cliff: Tony Curtis, if you're out there, if you can hear me, call in, and I'll split the pot with you. Ah, for crying out loud, look... Any mail carriers out there?

Quote from Teaching with the Enemy

Frasier: I want you all to know... I'm not blaming her. It's because of me that my life is in the arms of another man.
Woody: Uh, well, you mean "wife," don't you, Dr. Crane?
Frasier: What?
Woody: You said "life." "It's because of me my life is in the arms of another man."
Cliff: Oh, that's a- That's a Freudian slip there, Woody.
Woody: What's a Freudian slip?
Cliff: Oh, that's when you say one thing when you're actually thinking about a mother.