Rebecca: Sir, here is your Scotch and soda.
Carla: Rebecca.
Rebecca: It's all right. I have a plan, just watch this. Here you go. N- N- N- N- No. I don't need any money. I want you to take this and just think of it as a gift from me, Rebecca Howe, private citizen and in no way affiliated with this bar.
Man: Thanks.
Rebecca: You see that? That's all we have to do, that's the answer. All we have to do is give everybody free alcohol and not take any money for it, and this bar can stay in business forever!

Sam: Hey, Woody, come here a second, man. Something's really bugging me.
Woody: Whatever it is, I don't know what you're talking about. 'Cause I've never lied about anything. This is Woody, remember? Company man, team player, true blue. You know, maybe if you turn that microscope on yourself, you might find some things that aren't so pretty. I can't work in this atmosphere, all this suspicion and this constant interrogation. What do you people want from me? I didn't do anything, all right? I'm telling you, I am innocent! Okay, okay. You remember three months ago, that day I called in sick?
Sam: Woody.
Woody: Sam, shut up, it's my turn to talk! I- I was sick, but a couple hours later, I started feeling better, and I could've come in for half a day, but [crying] instead, I stayed home and did laundry and watched Oprah 'cause she had circus freaks on. I'm so ashamed! Oh, good, that feels better. I've been carrying that around for three months. [deep breath]
Sam: I was just gonna say your tag's sticking up on your sweater here.
Woody: Oh. Well, then forget I said anything. I was just kidding you, Sam. Just kidding you. [to Norm] I think I covered pretty well.

John: Oh, good afternoon, Miss Tortelli.
Carla: Well, if it isn't John Cougar Mellonhead.
John: Thank you for last night, Miss Tortelli.
Carla: I wasn't with you last night.
John: I know, and don't think I don't appreciate it.